Wednesday, 30 June 2010

The Best Year For Movies, Like, Ever

Celebrating its sixth birthday this year, it's...


Just thought I'd be positive for a change.

Normal service will be resumed tomorrow.

To pointlessly argue your case for a different year, click here

Tuesday, 29 June 2010

Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows: TOO Faithful To The Book?

Good to see that the movie will retain some of the novel's most memorable scenes, including all the...



Thank goodness, then, that it'll be...


Seriously, as long as each part clocks in at less than two hours, The Incredible Suit is looking forward to this very very much.

A Lada For Barbara! That's right isn't it?

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Monday, 28 June 2010

Sir Billi: An Exercise In Angering Pedantic Bloggers

Sir Billi is a Scottish-made animated feature due for release at some point in the distant future, in which eccentric octagenarian Sean "Sir Sean Connery" Connery plays an eccentric octagenarian who looks exactly like Sean Connery. He and his goat have to rescue a beaver called Bessie Boo from something or other; it's difficult to tell what and I'd lost interest by that point because I'm over four years old.



Now I understand that The Incredible Suit isn't the target market for Sir Billi, so I'll refrain from criticising it just because it looks like something students might watch on CBBC at three o'clock in the afternoon while they're eating Sugar Puff sandwiches and trying to remember what degree they're doing. However, there are a few points I feel I must raise now before the film is allowed to go any further into production:

1. Have a look at this:


Do you see what they've done here? DO YOU SEE??? Yes, they've traded on Connery's role as James Bond for the sake of a few gags that will mean LITERALLY NOTHING to the target audience. They've also got the words "License to heal" (he's a vet) in that picture, which is not just a rubbish pun but an absolutely unforgivable abortion of spelling. Unless of course the character portrayed by a proud Scot in this proudly Scottish production is American.

2. Have a look at this:


Obviously you don't have to look at it, but if you do you will read that director Sascha Hartmann is "a perfectionist". You'd think, then, that he might have proof-read his website, which is littered with aberrant apostrophes and inaccuracies such as listing the first three Bond films as:

"Dr. No (1962), Goldfinger (1964), From Russia, With Love (1964)"

I can't describe the level of incandescence at which my rage peaked upon reading that.

The site also describes Connery's part as "his first ever animated voice-over role", blithely dismissing Dragonheart and The Thief And The Cobbler, both of which can be found on any Connery filmography you might care to peruse.

3. Have a look at this:


I can't believe that EVERY SINGLE MENTION of Connery's name on the website and in the trailer is preceded by the word "Sir". Even the fictional character he plays uses the preposterous honorific. Who does he think he is, Ben "Sir Ben Kingsley" Kingsley? What an unbelievable arse.

Having said that, if he's reading, can I have an interview please Sir Sean?

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Friday, 25 June 2010

The Joe Cornish Interview In Quotes

The Incredible Suit treated itself to a glass or two of bubbles last night to celebrate one year of movie babble, so you'll forgive me if today's post is a) not very good and b) sickeningly self-congratulatory. Note that when I say "you'll forgive me" it's a statement rather than a question.

Here is but a tiny sample of some of the lovely things that some people said over the Twitterwaves yesterday:





Then this appeared on adamandjoe.com:


Now I obviously have no problem with being described as "stylish", and I am in 100% agreement that the interview was "idiotic", but "no hard information"? Let me just recap some of the COLD HARD FACTS imparted by Mr Cornish:
  • "Every British citizen is allowed to direct one film each during their lifetime. It’s like Jury service. You get notified by post." FACT.
  • "[Attack The Block is] not a stage production, it’s a film." FACT.
  • "Dennis Quaid is currently using my dreams to get to the bottom of some kind of global dream-warfare conspiracy." UNLIKELY BUT STILL A POSSIBLE FACT.
And last but not in any imaginable way least:
  • "I enjoy your blog a lot. It’s funny." BEST FACT EVER. FACT.
If that's not 'hard information' I don't know what is. I bet Paxman wouldn't be able to extract those exclusive nuggets from Joe Cornish's brainsafe.

Anyway, I'm not one to bear a grudge. adamandjoe.com is a splendid website and long may it last. In the meantime the sun's shining, the birds are singing and my head's throbbing like Meg White's kick drum so I'm off for a lie down.

Happy weekendings!

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Thursday, 24 June 2010

An Exclusive Interview With Joe Cornish!!!!!!!1


Attentive viewers will recall The Incredible Suit's groundbreaking 2011 preview, and in particular my mounting excitement about Attack The Block, the directorial debut (if you don't count the odd TV show and music video) of Joe Cornish, the taller, less hairy half of Adam & Joe, officially the funniest living organisms on Earth.


Furthermore, those of you who have been unfortunate enough to read more than a handful of my posts will be aware of my love for Joe's theme song for Quantum Of Solace, which came about as a result of Song Wars, a feature on Adam & Joe's 6 Music radio show.

Given this embarrassing amount of fawning obsequiousness, and the fact that Mr Cornish is busy working on Attack The Block, The Adventures Of Tintin: The Secret Of The Unicorn and Marvel's forthcoming Ant-Man (the latter two as writer), nobody was more surprised than The Incredible Suit when he a) agreed to answer some preposterously inane questions I posed him, and b) didn't have me arrested and put under a restraining order. Although there's still time for that.


Hello Joe. I’m a little starstruck and don’t quite know what to ask. What do you think would be a good first question?
Any question but that one. That just instantly flips all the work onto me, and the interview’s only just begun. How dare you. Jesus, this interview has got off to a really awkward and embarrassing start.

Oh dear. Um... OK, I've got one. You’re that bloke off the telly and the radio. What are you playing at directing a big budget movie like Attack The Block?
Every British citizen is allowed to direct one film each during their lifetime. It’s like Jury service. You get notified by post.


What stage is the production at? Is it too late to give a small role to a witty and handsome film blogger? I’m talking about me.
It’s not a stage production, it’s a film. And I couldn’t hear the second part of the question. A plane went over.

Really? I didn't hear it. When can we expect Attack The Block to arrive in cinemas? I’m a bit bored of waiting tbh.
Listen Mister Incredible Suit, I didn’t tell you to camp out in a sleeping bag in Leicester Square until the film comes out. You made that choice yourself. So don’t blame me if you’re bored waiting.

Edgar Wright keeps banging on about how tired he is making Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. Are you getting enough sleep? I’m worried about you.
Unfortunately Edgar’s being stalked by Freddy Krueger in his dreams (the original one, not the one from the remake), so he can’t go to sleep for personal safety reasons. Dennis Quaid is currently using my dreams to get to the bottom of some kind of global dream-warfare conspiracy, so it’s important that I sleep for as long as possible every night. That’s just how the cookie happens to crumble.

You're appealing to my love of The Quaid there so I don't ask you any difficult questions. Good tactic. Presumably you’ll be recording a theme song for Attack The Block in the ‘Song Wars’ style, yes?
It may yet come to that.

You’ve been working with Steven Spielberg on The Adventures Of Tintin. I hope you had a word with him about Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull.
Sorry. There’s another plane going over. Really loud. Must be one of those new double decker ones. Sorry.

Hmm. Can you tell me anything about Attack The Block, Tintin or Ant-Man that nobody else knows? Some kind of exclusive would be great for my rep.
Christ, it’s circling. So sorry.

Oh for heaven's sake. OK, here's an easier one. You and Adam are back on 6 Music this weekend at Glastonbury, which is the best news, like, ever. When do you expect to be back for good? My train journeys are filled with gloom and despondency now that I don’t have the podcast.
We’ll be back on 6 Music as soon as we can, if they’ll have us. I have to finish the film first, then I might take a bit of a holiday. Would that be okay? Where do you think I should go? But I reckon we’ll be back in one way or another before the end of the year. Thank you for caring.

You're welcome. Try Rhyl. What’s your favourite colour?
Blue Peter.

Good choice. Finally, could you just say something concise, witty and complimentary about The Incredible Suit which I can quote as if it was an off-the-cuff comment you made down the pub one day?
“I love the way The Incredible Suit is a blog about movies by a man.”

That'll do I suppose. You may go now. Thanks a million!
Thank YOU The Incredible Suit, it’s been a great honour. I enjoy your blog a lot. It’s funny. Bye!

So there you go. To briefly summarise the amazing scoops in there that you won't find ANYWHERE ELSE:
  • Joe Cornish has a nocturnal mental hotline to The Quaid
  • Joe Cornish can almost certainly be found at Rhyl Sun Centre later this year
  • Joe Cornish spends a lot of time under a suspiciously busy flight path
The Incredible Suit can also exclusively reveal that Joe Cornish is much taller than he sounds on the radio.

And now, because I never miss an opportunity...



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Wednesday, 23 June 2010

The Incredible Suit Is Nearly...


Tomorrow The Incredible Suit celebrates its first birthday. Hooray!

The entire team are currently working on a massive overhaul and redesign of the site, which is to say that I am looking for a different Blogger template, and to be honest it should have been done by now but I was distracted by some pictures of kittens looking bedraggled, or whatever was popular on the internet that day.

Can it really be a year since I forced The Incredible Suit on the world with this rambling nonsense in which I abused Abraham Lincoln, and then followed it up with a dangerously high word-to-picture ratio review of Chicago? Yes, it can. It clearly says the date on top of the post so it's pretty undeniable.

Anyway a lot has happened since then, and in a staggering act of monumental vanity I thought you might like to celebrate with me by remembering some of the less cabbagey posts gone by. In fact, I'm going to bring back the poll that nobody looked at in those first desolate months so you can vote on which of these five efforts was your favourite:
There's a votey thing over there on the right, use it or lose it.


To wish The Incredible Suit a Happy Birthday or guess which actual real movie director actually really spoke to me, click here

Cheers!

Tuesday, 22 June 2010

Knight And Day: Just When You Thought It Couldn't Get Worse

I can only imagine that somebody in the 20th Century Fox marketing department is either a massive fan of movie blogs where people like me find things to moan about in crappy marketing efforts, or the Knight And Day campaign is just one titanic joke and it will all turn out to be a hilarious post-modern wheeze concocted by weed-addled sixth-formers as part of their A Level in Ironic Stupidity.

I mean sweet zombie Jesus, will you look at this:


Here's how it appears this poster must have come about:

1. A photograph was taken of two models adopting a ludicrous near-pornographic pose that nobody would ever find themselves in, even if one was an ass-kicking secret agent and the other a double-jointed gymnast with no concept of how to hold a handgun.

2. A mentally impaired llama was told to put on a blindfold and a pair of boxing gloves and photoshop the faces of two of Hollywood's biggest film stars onto the models' heads, but to do it so obviously badly that it looks like a horny badger has tried to have sex with the computer's mouse while it was doing it.

3. After that somebody who's paid more money than you or I could ever dream of decided to add some kind of inexplicable splodge in the background that makes it look like the leading lady has just shat out the entire menu of an Indian restaurant.

Bob's your uncle, a new poster is stillborn.

Given the embarrassingly woeful 'viral' videos on YouTube (here and here, though you have been warned) and the terminally tedious interviews that have already been used to promote Knight And Day, this poster just seems like another sterling attempt to keep potential audiences away. Amazingly, despite all these efforts, I know I'll still be handing over hard-earned cash to see it. I'm masochistic like that.

Anyway, I apologise if your eyeballs have run screaming from their sockets after being raped by that calamity. This might make things a bit better:


Ah, the soothing effect of a nice bit of monochrome Clooney.

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Monday, 21 June 2010

The Smurfs: Educationally Unsound

Here's a trailer for, God help us, The Smurfs, which comes out next year. You don't need to watch it to understand the contents of this post so I recommend not bothering.



I have two massive problems with this trailer, apart from the fact that it's not a sick joke. Firstly, this:


A rudimentary knowledge of the English language should encompass an understanding of the suffix "-ed", which is an inflectional suffix. It is so called because it inflects the root word to indicate the past tense. For example:

"I will kill whoever came up with this idea /
I have killed whoever came up with this idea."

If the root word ends with an "e", it is compulsory to only add the "d" of the suffix to indicate the past tense. For example:

"I hate whoever came up with this idea /
I hated whoever came up with this idea. So I killed them."

AT NO POINT is it acceptable to just add a "d" to a root word that does not end with an "e", nor is it in any way permissible to substitute the "e" with an apostrophe, the most abused punctuation mark in existence, unless the normal form of inflection looks odd; Wikipedia cites "KO'd" rather than "KOed" as an example.

My point, therefore, is that it should be "Smurfed" rather than "Smurf'd".

Secondly, the phrase "Next summer our world is about to get Smurf'd" makes little or no sense, even disregarding the tragedy already inflicted on the suffix. "Our world is about to get Smurf'd" would be better, or even "Next summer our world will get Smurf'd". However to include both "Next summer..." and "...about to get..." is a borderline tautology.

Also, that song playing at the end is abysmally shit.

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Friday, 18 June 2010

Happy Father's Day!

It's Father's Day on Sunday. Struggling for ideas? Not sure what to get the old man? Here's an advert from a recent newspaper to help:


Yep, make your Father's Day by giving him a film in which a man's daughter is brutally murdered in front of his eyes, shot through the stomach, displacing her gizzards all over his doorstep in stomach churning detail. I'm sure your pop would rather watch that than stuff himself with Thornton's toffee.

Other DVD suggestions for Father's Day:

In which a complete bastard of a father gets his own daughter up the spout then forces her to give up the baby

In which a mentally deranged father threatens to chop his son up into tiny pieces with a gigantic axe, having been possessed by the ghost of a man who hacked his twin daughters to bits and redecorated a corridor with their guts

 
In which a psychotic father tries to kill his son three times, dismembering him on one occasion, and tortures his daughter
with a spiky floating football before forcing her to watch him
obliterate her home planet

I love my Dad so he'll be getting a card with a comedy golfer on the front and, if he's lucky, a phone call.

To tell the world what inappropriate DVDs you'll be buying for your Pa, click here

Intermission

Here's a little story to warm the cockles of your heart.

I tested Mrs The Incredible Suit's knowledge of her favourite blogger and occasional husband by asking which three films I was most looking forward to this summer.

After a pause, she said: "Inception! Er... Toy Story 3! And, um... ooh! The superhero one! Keith Pilgrim!"

I love you Mrs The Incredible Suit.

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Thursday, 17 June 2010

Almost Seen The Whole Film Now



As much as I love this, I'm hoping it's the last one because there is a danger of experiencing diminishing marginal returns very soon.

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Tom Cruizzzz & Cameron Diazzzz


There's an interview in this month's Empire magazine with Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz about their forthcoming action comedy Knight And Day. It's possibly the dullest thing I've read for yonks, and in fact I had to read it in shifts as I literally fell asleep half way through. I had been up past my bedtime the night before so maybe it was my fault, but seriously, Tom 'n' Cam - both of whom The Incredible Suit enjoys watching on screen - could bore for England. If they were English.

Things start badly when they talk about Alfred Hitchcock as a reference for Knight And Day, and specifically North By Northwest. Now this is a very dangerous thing to do. If you're going to invite comparisons between your film and what is clearly one of the greatest ever made, you had better be sure you can live up to that promise.

After that Cruise and Diaz ramble incoherently over another three pages about how great each other is, how great making movies is, how great the crew is, how great various legendary actors and directors are, blah blah blah. That's not an interesting interview, that's autopilot actorspeak.

The article's crowning glory, however, is a picture of a handwritten note by Tom Cruise using five words to describe his co-star:


Quite revealing, I think you'll agree. Apparently Cruise finds Diaz talented, wom, furrrig, armnutteal and seriewu2. Now that's a scoop.

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Wednesday, 16 June 2010

Last Week In "Terrible Movie News" Shocker

If you thought last week's 2011 preview was a bit, well, previous, then let me just give you a glimpse of the world we currently live in, and hopefully you'll understand why The Incredible Suit felt the need to be uncharacteristically upbeat about the future.

In the last seven days alone, I was faced with the following news stories:


Remember Tom Cruise as a fat, hairy, sweary film producer in Tropic Thunder? Not very funny was it? Nevertheless, Paramount are planning to make an entire film about him. Nobody asked for this. NOBODY.


Sequels and reboots that are about as welcome as a turd in your porridge are not only being announced almost daily, but are apparently being given titles by people with the creative skills of a full nappy. Apparently Die Hard 24/7 was originally to be a Die Hard / 24 crossover. Thankfully that idea has been flushed away, but the title remains like a lingering stench that requires a window to be opened, sharpish.

Undaunted by the catastrophic Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull, plans are afoot for a fifth geriatric shuffle for the once-great hero. The Bermuda Triangle angle has since been denied, but the only way I'll see this is if they call it Indiana Jones And The Incredible Suit. Which is unlikely.

I can't even be bothered to waste my fingers typing anything about a Fantastic Four reboot.


I haven't seen any of Joe Carnahan's films; for all I know he's the next Alfred Hitchcock. That's not the point. Preacher is an amazing comic that will never be done justice as a film. It's like doing 2001: A Space Odyssey as a half-hour sitcom. STOP THIS MADNESS NOW.

Having absorbed this cackstorm of awfulness, I was about to impale myself on a sharpened toilet roll holder when news came through of a new Toy Story 3 viral clip and a preview clip of the new series of Futurama. That'll cheer me up, I thought. This is what I got:



That's just racism.

And then, just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, I found out that Jackie Chan has grown a ridiculous moustache.


Who do you turn to?

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Tuesday, 15 June 2010

The Girl Who Played With Fire Trailer

Apologies for an earlier blip in the blogosphere which resulted in an unexpected trailer for a video game. I must have been listening to Duran Duran again.

To make up for it, here's a trailer for a film that The Incredible Suit will definitely be going to see, and is in fact quite looking forward to. Come with me if you like, just don't talk once the trailers have started.



You can add that to the "Trailers With Great Music" file as well.

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Just Going Multimedia For A Minute

If I had owned any kind of computer-game-playing machine since 1991, I would probably be one of those people queueing up outside my local video game emporium at midnight to buy this:



Is it available for the ZX Spectrum?

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Monday, 14 June 2010

Ultra Culture Cinema #02: Trash Humpers


Following last month's screening of The Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Call - New Orleans, Earth's second-best movie blog Ultra Culture went and did it again last week, showing Harmony Korine's mentalistic weirdgasm Trash Humpers to a perplexed but mostly entertained audience at London's ICA cinema.

As with last month, the film was preceded by daft competitions and random prize-giving dependent on where you were sitting, which meant my decision to occupy an aisle seat in case I had to make a sharp exit from a potentially awful film paid off when I won a Buffalo 66 DVD. In a moment of satisfying karma the lady in front of me who stuck her massive head across quarter of the screen for most of the film took home a Demi Moore VHS.

When Korine himself appeared via liveinterwebcamvidlink to introduce the film and shake a doll at the audience I thought the entertainment had peaked, but then an alarmingly posh young man called Charlie Lyons appeared on screen and did this at us:



Two things became clear after watching this:
  1. "I don't like things which unfold in time" is one of the most baffling things I've ever heard.
  2. Charlie Lyons will one day either be Prime Minister or the subject of an enormous tabloid scandal involving a member of the royal household and an empty bottle of Dom Perignon.
So I suppose I should STFU about all that and pass some comment on the film. It's essentially 78 minutes of four people in grotesque prosthetic masks bimbling about, squawking, teaching children bad habits and trying to have it off with inanimate objects (mostly rubbish bins). It's shot on VHS which looks like it's been through the washing machine, it makes no sense whatsoever and it's still better than Iron Man 2.

Trash Humpers exposes a peculiar underbelly of suburban America populated by misfits and freaks but doesn't pass judgement on them, leaving it to the audience to decide whether to be appalled by or sympathetic to the lives of others. It has something to say (although I've no idea what) about the thin line between creation and destruction, with TVs and stereos being routinely obliterated while the act of procreation is performed on bins full of waste. I'm sure there's something clever in it but I was distracted by one of the Humpers' resemblance to Bo Selecta's Michael Jackson.


Not that you can tell from that murky image. Blame Harmony Korine's video camera.

Often funny, occasionally disturbing but always challenging, Trash Humpers is a refreshing reminder of the power and diversity of cinema. Like having sex with a wheelie bin, you probably won't like it, but if you don't give these things a try you'll never know.

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Friday, 11 June 2010

Happy New Year! (Part II)


My preview of 2011’s best movies has been so overwhelmingly popular / such a massively misjudged disaster (I don’t know, I wrote this last week) that I’m taking things to the next level. And I don’t mean an awkward fumble over the clothes, you’ll be relieved to hear, but Part Two of…

Films That Might Not Be Crapples in 2011!


Saturdays have been an abyss of despair since Joe Cornish left 6 Music’s Adam & Joe show to direct this sci-fi comedy about a bunch of South London kids defending their council estate against invading aliens, but I forgive him. AS LONG AS IT’S THE BEST FILM OF 2011. Which I’m sure it will be.
Very Much Looking Forward To: A theme song by Joe as good as his Quantum Of Solace offering
Best Minor Cast Member Name: Flaminia Cinque

Still not sure about the wisdom of splitting this into two films, but if this isn’t the best of the series I’ll eat my sorting hat. I’m also hoping it will, by July 2011, be socially acceptable to say that Ginny Weasley is a sexpot.
Very Much Looking Forward To: The epilogue looking much better than the leaked photos suggest
Best Minor Cast Member Name: Christian Wolf-La’Moy

Despite predicting a complete disaster because Jon Favreau is “helming”, or “directing” as they used to call it, I’ll still be seeing this because you can’t not see a film starring James Bond, Indiana Jones and Eric Knox from Charlie’s Angels. Icons of a generation all. Also I hate cowboys and love aliens so it gives me something to root for. Come on you extra-terrestrial antagonists!
Very Much Looking Forward To: A high noon showdown between Daniel Craig and Christopher Johnson from District 9
Best Minor Cast Member Name: None, but Ervin Rustemagic is a co-producer

I’d be more enthusiastic about this if it wasn’t motion-capture animation, which fills me with a gut-churning dread, but when you’ve got the likes of Steven Spielberg, Peter Jackson, Steven Moffat, Edgar Wright and Joe Cornish involved you’d be Crackers Patel not to be interested. Like every film released in 2011, it stars Daniel Craig, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost.
Very Much Looking Forward To: The return of The Mighty John Williams
Best Minor Cast Member Name: Who cares? JOHN WILLIAMS IS BACK!!

Everything exciting about this film can be found in this previous geekgasm.
Very Much Looking Forward To: The beginning, the middle and the end
Best Minor Cast Member Name: Give me a break, I doubt it’s even been written yet

So there you go. What have we learned? Not much, except that 2011 will be full of aliens, superheroes and comic book movies, and that there are some people in the film business with amazing names.

See you in six months!


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Thursday, 10 June 2010

Happy New Year! (Part I)


As 2010 has been such a toilet of disappointment so far, I'm cancelling the rest of it and moving straight to 2011. I’ll allow Inception, Scott Pilgrim vs The World and Toy Story 3 in but after that it's strictly elevenses only.

So here are the first five of ten...

Films That Might Not Be Crapples In 2011!


The film of the TV series of the comic book of the radio serial about a masked vigilante and his kung-fu-fighting sidekick, directed by French barmlord Michel Gondry and featuring a spuffingly good cast - Christoph Waltz, Cameron Diaz and Tom Wilkinson to name but a few. Seth Rogen's in it too but you can't have everything.
Very Much Looking Forward To: Danny Elfman’s version of the theme
Best Minor Cast Member Name: Torin Sixx


Simon Pegg, Nick Frost and an alien on a road trip: Easiest pitch ever. It would be lazy to say “Spaced meets District 9”, but I see this as Spaced meets District 9. Stars another cast of supreme beings, including Jason Bateman, Sigourney Weaver and Kristen Wiig. Seth Rogen's in it too but you can't have everything. Also, is this the best credit ever?
Very Much Looking Forward To: Cashing in my shares in Rejuvenique
Best Minor Cast Member Name (apart from Neil Hamburger): Jesse Plemons


The story of a Norse god and arrogant tit banished to Earth for starting a war could be awful if Marvel just use it to trail their superhero mash-up The Avengers (which The Incredible Suit predicts will never happen). And with Kenneth Branagh “lensing”, or “directing” as they used to call it, it sounds crazy but it might just work. At any rate it can’t be any worse than The Incredible Hulk. Can it?
Very Much Looking Forward To: Some hardcore Mjolnir action
Best Minor Cast Member Name: Cliff Gravel

X-Prequel in which we discover what mutant X-Chums Professor X and Magneto had such a colossal X-Strop with each other over. I think the Prof got fed up with Mags wiping all his XXX-Videotapes every time he walked in the room. Original X-Director Bryan Singer dropped out, but was replaced by Kick-Ass Matthew Vaughn, so it might not stink. Again, only has to be better than Wolverine.
Very Much Looking Forward To: A young Jean Grey saying “c***”.
Best Minor Cast Member Name: Only James McAvoy has been cast so he’ll have to do.


Ryan Rodney Reynolds stars as the Vauxhall Conference-level superhero in this tale of a pilot gifted with an infinitely powerful ring (fnerk) and Mark Strong embraces typecasting as the villain. To be honest I’m only interested because it’s directed by Martin 'Casino Royale' Campbell. Pathetic, isn’t it?
Very Much Looking Forward To: How they make the whole ‘all-powerful ring that doesn’t work against anything yellow or wooden’ thing not rubbish.
Best Minor Cast Member Name: Ryan Rodney Reynolds


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