Friday, 11 June 2010

Happy New Year! (Part II)

My preview of 2011’s best movies has been so overwhelmingly popular / such a massively misjudged disaster (I don’t know, I wrote this last week) that I’m taking things to the next level. And I don’t mean an awkward fumble over the clothes, you’ll be relieved to hear, but Part Two of…

Films That Might Not Be Crapples in 2011!

Saturdays have been an abyss of despair since Joe Cornish left 6 Music’s Adam & Joe show to direct this sci-fi comedy about a bunch of South London kids defending their council estate against invading aliens, but I forgive him. AS LONG AS IT’S THE BEST FILM OF 2011. Which I’m sure it will be.
Very Much Looking Forward To: A theme song by Joe as good as his Quantum Of Solace offering
Best Minor Cast Member Name: Flaminia Cinque

Still not sure about the wisdom of splitting this into two films, but if this isn’t the best of the series I’ll eat my sorting hat. I’m also hoping it will, by July 2011, be socially acceptable to say that Ginny Weasley is a sexpot.
Very Much Looking Forward To: The epilogue looking much better than the leaked photos suggest
Best Minor Cast Member Name: Christian Wolf-La’Moy

Despite predicting a complete disaster because Jon Favreau is “helming”, or “directing” as they used to call it, I’ll still be seeing this because you can’t not see a film starring James Bond, Indiana Jones and Eric Knox from Charlie’s Angels. Icons of a generation all. Also I hate cowboys and love aliens so it gives me something to root for. Come on you extra-terrestrial antagonists!
Very Much Looking Forward To: A high noon showdown between Daniel Craig and Christopher Johnson from District 9
Best Minor Cast Member Name: None, but Ervin Rustemagic is a co-producer

I’d be more enthusiastic about this if it wasn’t motion-capture animation, which fills me with a gut-churning dread, but when you’ve got the likes of Steven Spielberg, Peter Jackson, Steven Moffat, Edgar Wright and Joe Cornish involved you’d be Crackers Patel not to be interested. Like every film released in 2011, it stars Daniel Craig, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost.
Very Much Looking Forward To: The return of The Mighty John Williams
Best Minor Cast Member Name: Who cares? JOHN WILLIAMS IS BACK!!

Everything exciting about this film can be found in this previous geekgasm.
Very Much Looking Forward To: The beginning, the middle and the end
Best Minor Cast Member Name: Give me a break, I doubt it’s even been written yet

So there you go. What have we learned? Not much, except that 2011 will be full of aliens, superheroes and comic book movies, and that there are some people in the film business with amazing names.

See you in six months!

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  1. Frank Lee Kidd-Fiddler11 June 2010 at 10:36

    "I’m also hoping it will, by July 2011, be socially acceptable to say that Ginny Weasley is a sexpot."

    Yes, it will be acceptable. If you're between the ages of 14 and 17. Which you so very aren't.

    Remind me to keep you away from my daughter next time you come over.

  2. "See you in six months"!
    As if!
    If The Incredible Suit keeps silent for six minutes that would be a stretch. He is after all 'Incredible'.
    By the way The Incredible Multi Talented Suit has been spotted in the Westminster area giving air guitar lessons to Brian May. Respect!

  3. Talking of New Year, three cheers for the darling bud of the Welsh valleys Catherine Zeta Jones who once said "I drink, I swear, I like sex." Ideal for Michael Douglas then. She has become a CBE in the New Year's Honours list.