Happy New Year! (Part I)

As 2010 has been such a toilet of disappointment so far, I'm cancelling the rest of it and moving straight to 2011. I’ll allow Inception, Scott Pilgrim vs The World and Toy Story 3 in but after that it's strictly elevenses only.

So here are the first five of ten...

Films That Might Not Be Crapples In 2011!

The Green Hornet

The film of the TV series of the comic book of the radio serial about a masked vigilante and his kung-fu-fighting sidekick, directed by French barmlord Michel Gondry and featuring a spuffingly good cast - Christoph Waltz, Cameron Diaz and Tom Wilkinson to name but a few. Seth Rogen's in it too but you can't have everything.
Very Much Looking Forward To: Danny Elfman’s version of the theme
Best Minor Cast Member Name: Torin Sixx

Paul

Simon Pegg, Nick Frost and an alien on a road trip: Easiest pitch ever. It would be lazy to say “Spaced meets District 9”, but I see this as Spaced meets District 9. Stars another cast of supreme beings, including Jason Bateman, Sigourney Weaver and Kristen Wiig. Seth Rogen's in it too but you can't have everything. Also, is this the best credit ever?

Very Much Looking Forward To: Cashing in my shares in Rejuvenique
Best Minor Cast Member Name (apart from Neil Hamburger): Jesse Plemons

Thor

The story of a Norse god and arrogant tit banished to Earth for starting a war could be awful if Marvel just use it to trail their superhero mash-up The Avengers (which The Incredible Suit predicts will never happen). And with Kenneth Branagh “lensing”, or “directing” as they used to call it, it sounds crazy but it might just work. At any rate it can’t be any worse than The Incredible Hulk. Can it?
Very Much Looking Forward To: Some hardcore Mjolnir action
Best Minor Cast Member Name: Cliff Gravel

X-Men: First Class

X-Prequel in which we discover what mutant X-Chums Professor X and Magneto had such a colossal X-Strop with each other over. I think the Prof got fed up with Mags wiping all his XXX-Videotapes every time he walked in the room. Original X-Director Bryan Singer dropped out, but was replaced by Kick-Ass’ Matthew Vaughn, so it might not stink. Again, only has to be better than Wolverine.

Very Much Looking Forward To: A young Jean Grey saying “c***”.
Best Minor Cast Member Name: Only James McAvoy has been cast so he’ll have to do.

Green Lantern

Ryan Rodney Reynolds stars as the Vauxhall Conference-level superhero in this tale of a pilot gifted with an infinitely powerful ring (fnerk) and Mark Strong embraces typecasting as the villain. To be honest I’m only interested because it’s directed by Martin 'Casino Royale' Campbell. Pathetic, isn’t it?

Very Much Looking Forward To: How they make the whole ‘all-powerful ring that doesn’t work against anything yellow or wooden’ thing not rubbish.
Best Minor Cast Member Name: Ryan Rodney Reynolds

To comment on this post, click here