Thursday, 17 May 2012

First Official Skyfall Poster Slightly Better Than The One I Knocked Up This Morning

Here it is then: the first official piece of marketing for Skyfall, if you don't count all those photos from the other week, which you shouldn't because you wouldn't want them up on your wall would you? Unless you want to look at Daniel Craig's arsecrack every day.

You'll be pleased to read that The Incredible Suit's official verdict is: I like it. Despite the fact that Craig is wearing that shirt with the stupid collar that makes him look like he's got a bicycle's inner tube round his neck, and despite the fact that it looks like he's either been miniaturised and loaded into a gunbarrel or he's just got lost in a particularly dangerous subway, I like it.

I like the way it incorporates the famous gunbarrel design in a new way. I like the reference to the tube tunnels that feature heavily in an important set piece. I like that it's in black and white, except for the gold 007 logo, signifying Bond's 50th anniversary. I like the typeface, although the slightly larger 'F' still confuses me. But most of all I like that it's got James Fucking Bond, front and centre, where the eye is immediately drawn to, not standing just out of shot casting a non-threatening shadow.

So well done whoever's responsible. I'll take twenty please, one for each wall in my house.

First SkyFall Poster Revealed at 5pm Today

Artist's impression

Monday, 14 May 2012

Is It Just Me, Or...

It's just me, isn't it?

Friday, 11 May 2012

The Raid

The Raid arrives in cinemas next week, although if all the hype is to be believed it doesn't so much arrive in cinemas as kick the door down, riddle the box office staff with bullets, blow up the popcorn counter, throw the manager down the stairs, kill every single customer in the building and launch itself onto the screen with a cannon.

What I'm trying to say is that it's violent. Try doing a Google image search for a still from The Raid where people aren't kicking the living shit out of each other: it's impossible.

If you've been paying attention though, you'll have noticed that while new superlatives are having to be invented for people to describe the violence, the same people are quietly referring to the script as "economic", "stripped down" and "efficient": all very polite ways of saying "barely existent". It really may as well be called Men Fighting. Laughable comparisons to Die Hard are being made all over the place (presumably because it's an action film set in a building), but The Raid has none of the wit, charm or invention of Die Hard, just fifteen thousand times as many fights.

That's not to say the fights aren't good, because by and large they are. Insane martial arts demonstrations choreographed to within an inch of their life and masterfully shot and edited, each bust-up is an impressive dance of violence between the good guys and the bad guys, every single one of whom is conveniently a master of Pencak Silat, the fighting style about which Wikipedia helpfully tells us "There can be no silat without pencak; on the other hand pencak without silat is purposeless".

Likewise, there can be no plot without action, but on the other hand action without plot is purposeless. What little there is in the way of a story is put on hold every few minutes for another foundation-shaking rumble, after which we're rarely any further on than when it started. And if you think you've got a handle on how many bad guys are left after each scrap, think again, because there'll be an entire other room full of them that's just been written into the script so we can have yet another fight scene, thereby rendering each kill dramatically pointless.

The Raid is perfectly passable mindless entertainment, and does at least feature cinema's new best fridge-nuking scene, but if you're after something with as much brain as brawn, you may as well stay at home and spend the evening kicking yourself in the face.

tl;dr?
Gets boring after a while dunnit?

Saturday, 28 April 2012

Saturday Playlist #33: The Avengers

If you've got any sense knocking about in that tiny brain of yours, you'll be off to the flicks this weekend to watch 2012's best film (and worst title) so far, Marvel Avengers Assemble. When you do, and if you can make it out beneath the sounds of constant explosions and some poor bastard trying to write a bloody amazing script for Justice League Of America, keep your ears peeled for a typically bombastic score by former Saturday Playlistee Alan Silvestri. It sounds like this:

The Avengers Theme


Silvestri also composed the score for Captain America: The First Avenger, which features in this playlist of tracks from the feature-length trailers for Marvel Avengers Assemble. The Incredible Suit recommends you only listen to the playlist and not the full, individual albums, because in all honesty most of them are not all that. Ramin Djawadi's score for Iron Man, for example, is packed with some of the most awful crunching heavy metal guitars this side of your local Battle Of The Bands night.

That said, I've filtered out the crap and left only the good bits for you to wrap your eardrums around. So turn up your speakers, assemble your, um, ears or something, and SAVE THE FLIPPING WORLD as you...

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO
SATURDAY PLAYLIST #33:
THE AVENGERS