Friday, 18 June 2010

Happy Father's Day!

It's Father's Day on Sunday. Struggling for ideas? Not sure what to get the old man? Here's an advert from a recent newspaper to help:

Yep, make your Father's Day by giving him a film in which a man's daughter is brutally murdered in front of his eyes, shot through the stomach, displacing her gizzards all over his doorstep in stomach churning detail. I'm sure your pop would rather watch that than stuff himself with Thornton's toffee.

Other DVD suggestions for Father's Day:

In which a complete bastard of a father gets his own daughter up the spout then forces her to give up the baby

In which a mentally deranged father threatens to chop his son up into tiny pieces with a gigantic axe, having been possessed by the ghost of a man who hacked his twin daughters to bits and redecorated a corridor with their guts

In which a psychotic father tries to kill his son three times, dismembering him on one occasion, and tortures his daughter
with a spiky floating football before forcing her to watch him
obliterate her home planet

I love my Dad so he'll be getting a card with a comedy golfer on the front and, if he's lucky, a phone call.

To tell the world what inappropriate DVDs you'll be buying for your Pa, click here


  1. Gun Crazy, Starring Drew Barrymore.

    In which a father habitually sexually abuses his daughter, who then gets engaged to a bloke in prison who, when he gets out, then helps the daughter kill the father. They then go on a bit of an 'accidental' killing spree, (meanwhile the estranged mother dies of a heroin overdose) and the guy ends up dead, and the daughter ends up arrested. And its got a fucking blinding soundtrack.

  2. OR:

    Twin Peaks - Firewalk With Me.

    In which a father habitually turns into a ghost from another dimension and sexually abuses his daughter, and then kills her and some other prostitutes.

  3. Blown Away

    In which a father (Beau Bridges) gets strapped to a bomb made by TLJ, and whose son (Jeff Bridges) is a bomb squad defusery-type guy who cannot defuse it, so the dad blows himself up. Great, dad, way to offload the guilt.

  4. Phil, your knowledge of inappropriate fathers in movies is second to none. I suggest you make it your specialist subject when you're on Mastermind.