The Arena Of Destiny: Attack The Block Special

Last week's competition to win an Attack The Block hoodie was a popular one: in many ways the response reflects the enormous popularity of the film and of this blog. In another, far more likely way, it could be down to the fact that you would have to be a teabag to get the answer wrong.

Anyway as we know, all entrants to The Incredible Suit's competitions must do battle in The Arena Of Destiny, from which only one may emerge victorious. This time I had the assistance of Picturehouse Podcast legend Mr Simon Renshaw, and a very short man who happened to be passing. So let's don our armour and prepare for battle!



Congratulations, (insert winner's name)! I'll be in touch soon pestering you for an address and whatnot.

Attack The Blog - Day 5: Another Exclusive Interview With Joe Cornish!

No week of fawning free publicity for Attack The Block would be complete without a few words from its director Joe Cornish, and a few words from its director Joe Cornish is exactly what follows.

This was your first feature film as director. Was everyone mean to you on set, like that time I moved house and joined big school and got my head flushed down the bog? No, everyone was really supportive. If anything, I was a bit shouty for the first few days, as I had a lot of pent up energy and anxiety inside me. Nira, the producer, had to take me aside and say "Joe, you know, the first assistant director can shout at the crew". I think if I'd carried on like I was carrying on everyone would have just fucked off and done something better with their day. Learning how to get the most out of the great talent and experience of your crew is one of the biggest and most rewarding lessons I learnt from the whole experience. Edgar Wright was an executive producer on Attack the Block. What was his single most worthwhile contribution? It would be reductive for me to single out one thing Edgar has done for me, because he’s done so much. He helped the film in every way possible. Being his friend and working with him has taught me a lot over the years, and although Attack the Block is very much its own thing, everything I learned from him is in there in one way or another. Your film isn’t overburdened with CGI, motion capture or other in-your-face effects. Was this purely down to budgetary reasons, or do you feel strongly about how certain SFX should be employed? I love practical effects. When I was a kid every effect I saw in movies was either a painting or a model or a puppet. It had been made by hand, and as a result you felt it was a magic you could achieve yourself if you tried hard enough. Perhaps the same is true for clever, computer literate people today, but for Attack the Block I wanted to evoke those old school, physical effects. So I went for practical monsters that were there on the set with the actors. I reckon that, where live action films are concerned and whenever possible, CGI is best used to enhance or adjust real physical in-camera things. That’s how we approached it. Did you encounter any unwanted attention while hanging around the streets of Brixton in the middle of the night? I’m referring to the time you were shooting your film as opposed to just casual nocturnal wandering. No, we didn’t. I wish I had an exciting story to tell you but the residents, police and councils on whose patches we shot were nothing but welcoming, accommodating and tolerant. Apart from one woman who marched onto the set while we were shooting the police van sequence and shouted "why don’t you take your tuppence ha’penny film and fuck off!". But I’ll gloss over that. What do you make of all this fuss about Attack The Block needing subtitles in certain (English-speaking) foreign markets (called America)? I liked it because it meant people were talking about the film and that they cared about the film. I don’t think it’ll happen though. I think everyone’s smart enough to deal with the way the characters speak. The slang is a fun strength to the movie, not an obstacle. Tom Townend told me that the alien effects were created very simply, by using real aliens. Is that true? Because if so that’s quite a significant scientific breakthrough and I’m surprised you’ve kept it so quiet. Tom Townend is an extremely talented and intelligent man who would not waste The Incredible Suit’s time with idle nonsense or frippery. Given the title of your film, are you concerned that there might be a rise in unprovoked attacks on innocent blocks? You sound very distant all of a sudden. Can you hold the handset closer to your mouth? It seems to me that along with Chris Morris, Edgar Wright, Garth Jennings, Duncan Jones, Gareth Edwards, Richard Ayoade and some others I’ve forgotten, you’re creating a bit of a “movement”. Do you feel like there’s something going on right now with hip young British director types? I really don’t know why some glossy mag doesn’t hurry up and do a sexy photo shoot of us all looking bored, sitting on rusty oil barrels in a disused garage in the east end. It's only a matter of time. I asked lots of people who worked on the film for juicy gossip from the production with which to annoy and/or blackmail you, but they both failed miserably, so it’s down to you to tell me about something that happened that you don’t want anyone to know about. Go! Maybe I should call you back on your land line? Already people will be dying to know what your difficult second film will be. I know you won’t want to talk about it but you can tell me, I won’t tell anyone, promise. Hello, can you hear me? This month, blogs around the world are reviewing You Only Live Twice for The Incredible Suit’s future award-winning BlogalongaBond initiative. What are your thoughts on the fifth Bond film? I like it. But I haven’t seen it for a while. Get in touch when it’s The Man With The Golden Gun time. I’m planning on starting a rumour that you’re directing the next-but-one Bond film. Would you care to neither confirm nor deny that you’ve been offered the job? Hey, don't joke about stuff like that. If you do direct a Bond film and you need someone to play the handsome, charismatic blogger that the series has so far sorely lacked, you know who to call. (I’m referring to myself. Not sure if that was obvious) When you came to the Attack The Block press junket, I was secretly auditioning you for the role. As I’m sure you’ll understand, it’s important that Bond looks tough and confident, rather than gentle and a bit nervous, and on that basis I’m afraid we can’t offer you the role at this time. Well, that’s all we’ve got time for. Have you got any final golden nuggets of witty genius you’d like to share before we say goodbye? You should really upgrade your mobile phone. What network are you on? You should get onto one with better coverage, because I kept losing you. Oh, and thank you for supporting Attack The Block, I’m very happy that you enjoyed the film. Long live The Incredible Suit!

I conducted this interview via email, so I'm not sure why he kept banging on about the phone connection. Anyone would think some of my questions were completely fatuous and stupid.

Anyway, massive thanks to Joe for all that, and also to Tom Townend, Jon Amos, Marcus Rowland, Luke Treadaway, Jodie Whittaker, Leeon Jones, Alex Esmail, Simon Howard, John Boyega, Franz Drameh and Nick Frost and everyone at Optimum and ThinkJam for all their time and help, without which this week would have been full of more whining about X-Men: First Class posters. The Incredible Suit's viewers are no doubt at least grateful for that.

Attack The Blog - Day 4: The Incredible Suit's Big Press Junket Adventure!

Last week I attended an Attack The Block press junket. It was the first time I'd done anything like this, which meant that I was the most excitable person there, surrounded by battle-hardened, cynical, "proper" journalists with dictaphones and everything. I had to use the microphone on my mp3 player, which isn't an iPod or iPhone or iAnything and therefore stuck out like a sore todger.

I was there to interview actors Luke Treadaway, Jodie Whittaker, John Boyega, Simon Howard, Franz Drameh, Leeon Jones, Alex Esmail and Nick Frost, as well as director man Joe Cornish, although most of the day was spent waiting in the press equivalent of a dentist's waiting room in a ludicrously fancy hotel deciding whether to go for "gently sparkling" or "delightfully still" water. I went for "delightfully still", but I couldn't really say that its stillness was any more or less delightful than that of a lower class of hotel water.

But enough of this contextualising backstory. What did the talent have to say? Well, quite a lot as it happens, because my interviews with them were of the "round table" variety, where a bunch of journalists fire questions in turn. What this boils down to is that a) everyone walks away with the same interview, and b) I only got to ask each person a couple of questions. If you want every answer to every question that was asked, they're all out there somewhere, but I haven't got room to steal everyone else's Qs and As so here are the tiny fragments of the day that are 100% pure The Incredible Suit.

*CONTAINS PETITE SPOILERETTES*

First off were actors Luke Treadaway and Jodie Whittaker. Luke is terribly handsome and has excellent chest hair; Jodie is equally attractive but I was unable to gauge how hirsute her chesticles were. Probably for the best.

Luke, Joe based your character on his own experiences as a twenty-something posh kid buying drugs from a dealer in a tower block. How did you research playing a young Joe Cornish? It was touched upon when we first talked about the part that Joe had gone to a tower block to procure the odd jazz cigarette in his youth, so I was aware of that. Maybe bits of him did bleed into it a bit but but I never felt like I was trying to play a young Joe. I think that would have been odd and weird. Jodie, how did the boys treat you? I’m guessing they thought you were like a cool older sister. No, I was made to feel like a complete loser. In no way did they make me feel cool. They kept calling me Mrs Whittaker. You know, I'm 28, I'm not your art teacher. I'd be like, "d'you wanna listen to an Arcade Fire track?" and they were like, "no". They made me feel like an absolute sad cow. But it was affectionate.

Before I had time to question Jodie about her chest hair we were ushered out of the room and into another, which contained Alex Esmail, Franz Drameh, John Boyega, Simon Howard and Leeon Jones: the five young actors who play Attack the Block's leads. As we entered they were finishing a story about a woman who gave birth to a chicken which went sadly unexplained.

Nick Frost plays a kind of surrogate father figure to you guys. Was he like that off screen too? Did he take you to the pictures and buy you drugs and stuff? John: Nick brought a playful energy to the set, he was more like an older brother. He was also good for hugs. He's like a big teddy bear. Franz: He wasn’t around for long, he was there for like four weeks maybe, we were there for four months, but when he was on set he was a joy to work with, constantly cracking jokes and shouting randomness just before a take. You'd be two seconds away from doing your scene and he'd suddenly shout "ACTING!" Simon, you spend quite a lot of time in a bin in this film. How did you feel about that when everyone else was getting a bit more action? When I first found out that I was gonna be away from the gang I was actually sad, because it's like, they're my boys, man, I'm not with youse lot! But when I'm actually in the bin it's like I've got time by myself and I have to really smash it because it's in a closed environment and the pressure's on. But I'm good with it. Is there one specific thing any of you learned that you'll carry through in your future career? Franz: Don’t be afraid to a) improvise: if you wanna quickly riff something you might as well do it ‘cause if it's too much or they don't like it they'll just cut it. But if they do, then you'd feel like an idiot if you didn't do it before; and b), if you've got any questions, just ask. Don't be scared to look dumb. John: For me, just to remember to just do your job and play another person. You can't just play yourself. Create another character. Simon: Yeah, obviously you won't always be getting the same role, so your mind's got to be set into taking other people's roles, even if it's playing someone who's a geeky person in an ICT lab, a madman, anyone.

Leeon and Alex didn't say much. They must have been in awe at being in the same room as The Incredible Suit. Right?

Next we were introduced to Nick Frost, who plays drug dealing slacker Ron. He and I immediately bonded over my The Karate Kid t-shirt, which Nick also owns "in a massively different size". And when I say "immediately bonded over" I mean "exchanged ten words about".

Did you and Joe work out a back story for Ron? We did. Ron just wants an easy life. I think he’d spent some time in the military and just hated it, or he got injured or it just wasn't for him, and then he bummed around a bit and lived in India for a while, psychedelics, brain leaks, you know, and then lost love - you see he's got a tiny little ring on his chain, and you imagine that was a girl that he loved and it didn't work out. That's sad. It is sad, and as an actor that helps with the other side to Ron, which is he's getting kids to deal weed for him. There's also a bum bag in there which was full of stuff. It had lighters in it and secateurs and little bits and pieces, little ties for the plants and stuff. They let you muck about a bit and go a bit crazy with character minutiae. Slightly off-topic, what's your favourite colour? Oh, shit. Shit? Yeah, probably shit. No, my heart wants to say black, but... Bit obvious, isn't it? Yeah, but blue's even more obvious, isn't it? If I ever see a sports car in the street and it's bright yellow, I always want it. So let's say bright yellow.

With that Pulitzer-troubling question in the bag, we then had to wait yonks for Joe Cornish to arrive. As a result I spent a long time looking at this sofa:

When he finally arrived I only got to ask him one question, the answer to which you can find seamlessly slotted into tomorrow's slightly more exclusive interview which I did with him shortly afterwards. As a result my presence there was somewhat superfluous: in fact it might have been better if I hadn't been there at all as, while answering someone else's question about which character in the script most resembled him, Joe took the opportunity to reveal one of my darkest secrets to a room full of journalists:



But enough about my smack habit. Come back tomorrow to find out, amongst other things, which three words Joe Cornish chose to use when I asked him to review You Only Live Twice for BlogalongaBond!

Attack The Blog Bonus Post: An Exclusive Self Portrait By Director Of Photography Tom Townend!

For no apparent reason, Attack The Block's director of photography Tom Townend furnished me with this self-portrait which he whipped up with his trusty Sharpie the other day. I felt it was too special to keep to myself, so here it is for everyone to enjoy.

I believe there may be literally no end to this man's talents.

Attack The Blog - Day 3: Win An Attack The Block Hoodie!

Everyone knows that anyone who wears a hoodie is obviously a violent bastard who would much rather stab you in the neck than offer you a jelly baby. But if your hoodie is adorned with Attack The Block branding, it sends a clear message that at least you have good taste in films despite being a juvenile psychopath, right?

So I'm pleased to offer one lucky viewer of The Incredible Suit the chance to improve their delinquent criminal image by winning an official Attack The Block hoodie in this not-very-exclusive competition. All you have to do is answer this offensively simple question:

Attack The Block is about an invasion of what?

a) Aliens
b) Carrots
c) Chiltern Railways train timetables

Email your answer to me here before MIDDAY ON FRIDAY 13th MAY and I will attempt to devise an entertaining yet fair method of picking a winner. Bribes will be gratefully received but will have no bearing on who wins. Unless it's an unbelievably amazing bribe, in which case principles go out the window.*

Good luck!

*I'm joking.**
**Or am I?***
***I am

Attack The Blog - Day 2: Exclusive Interviews With Production Designer Marcus Rowland, Director Of Photography Tom Townend And Editor Jonathan Amos!

Day 2 of my unoriginally-titled week of Attack The Blockery sees us being afforded a rare insight into the engine room of a film, the technical departments rarely mentioned in the mainstream movie press when promoting a new film. Take that, mainstream movie press!

I chatted to three of the major talents responsible for bringing Attack The Block to the screen. Here are the least technically complex answers that I understood, which sadly means I had to excise Tom Townend's essay on chromatic bas-relief.

*CONTAINS TEENY-WEENY SPOILERS*

MARCUS ROWLAND, Production Designer Before Attack The Block, Marcus was production designer on Shaun Of The Dead, Hot Fuzz and Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. In an ideal world there'd be a photo of him here but I can't find one. He may or may not have a beard. What gave you inspiration for the design of Attack The Block? I looked at all the films which inspired Joe, but generally I take my ideas and influences from various different sources as well as film, so I use a lot of photographic, visual and architectural references. We also looked at many tower blocks across central London, which gave us a good idea of which elements we wanted to incorporate in the design. What combination of sets and real locations did you use for the tower block? The establishing shots of the tower block exterior and low-rise were locations, as were the walkway chase sequences. Apart from that we built the apartments, corridors and lifts at Three Mills Studio. This involved reworking various sets which we'd built to be used for different parts of the script, which we were able to do because of the generic nature of tower blocks. The film takes place entirely at night: how much did that affect your work? Well thankfully all studio scenes were shot during more sociable hours! But yes, the location shoots meant we had to divide our crew up into day and night shifts. I tended to do a very long day and also the earlier part of the nights. What's Joe Cornish like to work with? He was great, he's such a film enthusiast. It certainly wasn't the easiest film for a first time director to make and he managed it brilliantly. I really enjoyed making the film with him. Finally, are there any hidden treats in the production design for the sharp-eyed viewer? I hope so, but I'll leave that up to the viewers to spot.

TOM TOWNEND, Director Of Photography Tom has been working in the camera departments of various feature films, TV movies and programmes, commercials and music videos since 1996. Attack the Block is his first feature as director of photography. It would be best if you didn't ask how I got a photo of him in bed.  The exterior scenes self-consciously hark back to many early '80s films, with lots of improbable blue backlighting – how did the decision come about to reference that era? In a way there was a deliberate choice to recreate that era - in my first meeting with Joe, we asked: “Why do the films we love of the late ‘70s and early ‘80s (specifically American films such as Escape From New York and The Terminator, which both have extensive night shooting) look the way they do?” The answer I posited was that they didn’t have the resources to relight acres of city streets, and at the time municipal lighting in the US was mostly mercury vapour lamps which appear as a green blue, as opposed to sodium vapour lamps which are orange. There’s bold use of colour throughout the film, in both the production design and costume, and it made sense for the lighting to follow suit. Street lighting is artificial by definition, and Joe wanted us to push saturated colour as far as would look plausible – partly as a reaction to the historically dingy and monochrome look of low budget British film-making, and also to up the ‘fun’ quotient. Are there any sequences or shots that you're most proud of? There’s a shot of a creature leaping off a bridge which, given the scale of the production, was pretty ambitious and I was very pleased when we pulled it off - not least because everything about it is ‘in camera’ live action, shooting from a fast moving vehicle. Getting it right was testament to the hard work and skill of the camera operator, Julian Morson and Terry Notary, our lead creature performer, who practiced the stunt for weeks. The sequence I like best takes place in a smoke-filled corridor. It’s a new twist on the ‘spooky dark corridor’ idea, what with it not being dark. I can’t take any credit for it though: Joseph Cornish thought it up and put it in his marvellous script for me. Does filming at night make life easier or harder for a cinematographer? It makes it harder for the lighting department. There’s not a single shot where they can kick back and sunbathe. On the plus side, I can look at every shot and feel a sense of authorship over the lighting. The net result is that one becomes an exhausted egomaniac. What challenges were presented by the film's relatively low budget? The main challenge was that they wouldn’t pay for a car to pick me up and take me to and from set. LOL! Other than that, every budgetary constraint became a virtue of the creative process. For example, before the advent of spiffing photorealistic CGI, filmmakers working in the sci-fi/fantasy genres didn’t linger on what they knew might look ropey. Instead the audience received their monster/alien/shark thrills by proxy through the reactions of the human characters in the scene. Joe was emphatic about getting a range of shots of characters reacting to the off screen menace, in the knowledge that these could be as effective as the sight of the creatures themselves. How were the alien effects achieved? The aliens were real. This was a trick question, right? Once the shoot was over, what further input did you have? I popped into the edit from time to time but mostly to natter to Joe about stuff like The Only Way Is Essex and Lady Gaga. The grading of the film (the digital refinement of colour balance and contrast to ensure visual uniformity across an edited sequence) is where I got my fingers back in the pie and enjoyed myself. It’s the icing on the cake. Pie. Cake. I think of the sound mixing and the music as the custard but I didn’t have anything to do with the custard. Any juicy gossip or funny stories from the shoot? I have to confess that it wasn’t a very gossipy shoot. The frantic work pace led to a very busy and tired cast and crew, whereas for hilarity and shenanigans one needs to be overfed, under-worked and put up in a luxury hotel with a well stocked bar miles from anywhere. I should just make up some shit like how Paula the continuity woman continually forgot where she’d locked up her bicycle, but that wouldn’t be true. Was Joe Cornish a lovable idiot or a menacing tyrant? He was somewhere between the two: a lovable tyrant and a menacing idiot.

JONATHAN AMOS, Editor Jonathan has edited several TV series, including Peep Show, Spooks and Ashes To Ashes. Attack The Block is his second feature film, after co-editing Scott Pilgrim vs. The World with Paul Machliss. I couldn't find a picture of him either so you'll have to make do with this photo of his near-namesake, John Amos from Die Hard 2: Die Harder. Attack The Block runs a satisfyingly taut 88 minutes. Is that the running time you were aiming for or did you just cut the film to a length that felt right? Joe really wanted the film to clock in at 90 minutes, but as you get into the fine cut process, changing factors pull the edit in different directions. It sometimes feels like sculpture: you start with this big piece of rock - the script - and you chip away the layers. Eventually it becomes an organic and instinctive process of shaping and fine tuning the dialogue and the action, then the film just becomes whatever length it should be. What were your stylistic aims as you approached the edit? The shoot and edit were partially influenced by the genre films which inspired the script, and Joe wanted to carry over as much of the aesthetic of those films as possible. We deliberately tried to avoid a lot of the tropes of modern action movie editing, and during the process the film inevitably takes on a character of its own. The turning point was when we tightened up the initial mugging; we really wanted that to be as shocking as it would be in real life. The first creature attack then provides a similar counterpoint for the gang, equally shocking and kinetic. The cutting in these, and the subsequent gang dialogue scenes, really provide the rhythmic backbone for the entire piece. Which films did you use as references for the editing of Attack The Block? The films that Joe was influenced by, like Aliens, Predator, Gremlins, Streets Of Fire, The Outsiders, The Warriors, E.T., and Assault on Precinct 13 gave us an aesthetic root from which our movie could find its own identity. Of course things have moved on since then so we never limited ourselves by rigidly obeying a strict visual grammar, but because we started from a slightly different place [to most modern films], Attack The Block ended up having quite a unique tone. What challenges did you face in the editing process? Working with practical creatures was probably the trickiest element. Our aliens would be on screen throughout the picture so we had to be very careful how we edited them, keeping the performances kinetic and animalistic without exposing any humanistic traces. Also there wasn't a limitless pot of money to enhance the creatures, so we had to work quite judicially to bring the edit in on budget without compromising the quality of the movie. We were fortunate in this regard to work with Double Negative and Fido whose SFX work was beautifully judged. It's a huge compliment to them that it's sometimes impossible to gauge what’s real and what’s digital. Finding the musical tone was also difficult - Joe described it as John Williams going over to Roots Manuva's house and having a stoned jam. Clearly that was never going to happen, so piecing together a satisfactory temp track to give a sense of what the film would eventually offer proved very tricky. It wasn't until Steve Price and Basement Jaxx came on board that the concept really came alive. What was it like working with Joe Cornish? Joe is incredibly passionate about films, and finally getting the opportunity to make this film is the culmination of a ten-year dream. It’s that passion that made Attack The Block the film it is, and it was a pleasure to assist him in creating his vision. Joe really drove every aspect of the film, and without his dedication, care, and attention to detail, such an ambitious project could have easily faltered.

Come back tomorrow for a mildly exciting competition and some exclusive artwork designed exclusively by Tom Townend exclusively for The Incredible Suit! It's an exclusive!

Attack The Blog - Day 1: Some Kind Of Review Of Attack The Block!

It's been yonks since Joe Cornish selfishly abandoned his post beside Adam Buxton on BBC 6Music's Adam & Joe show to go and fulfil a lifelong ambition to direct a film.

Fortunately his prolonged absence has been worth enduring, because Attack The Block is hugely entertaining, massively enjoyable funballs, and further evidence (post-Submarine) that there's a new school of British directors set to take on the world. THE WORLD, I TELL YOU.

Cornish, like Garth Jennings, Duncan Jones and Gareth Edwards before him, didn't get the memo that said all British science fiction must be small-scale, tedious analogies of the decline of postwar imperialism or the unbelievable price of stamps or whatever we're complaining about these days. Instead, he's taken a genre he loves, set it in a place he loves, given it a sharp twist and a few stylistic nods to his influences and delivered a balls-out sci-fi actioner that should open a few doors and wallets for him in the hopefully-not-too-distant future.

Attack The Block unashamedly pays tribute to the creature features of the late 1970s and early '80s that Cornish grew up watching, and he makes sure you know it. Improbably stark blue backlights litter the outdoor scenes, and the first confrontation between boys and beast plays like a twisted, violent version of E.T.'s initial meeting with Elliott. By the time the actual block attacking begins it's Gremlins on crack vs. Goonies on weed, and the only thing missing is a cameo from Corey Feldman.

That's not to say the film is unoriginal: turning a bunch of charmless hoodies into plucky protagonists is a brave move, and its success depends on whether or not you think a movie's heroes always have to be the good guys. Regardless, it's also refreshing that their cultural awareness leads them to immediately conclude that aliens are invading, negating the need for lengthy first-act exposition and tedious efforts to convince everyone else of the gravity of the situation.

The young cast carry the film impressively (though not flawlessly), the aliens are admirably effective given the lack of CG bells and whistles, and the tower block itself becomes a character in the same way Nakatomi Plaza did in Die Hard, although you'll need to pay close attention to which direction the lifts are going in to avoid confusion.

If Attack The Block is missing anything, it's a plot wrinkle or two to push it beyond solid, quality entertainment and into outstanding film-making territory. For now, though, Joe Cornish - for so long a radio presenter who wanted to be a film director - has returned to 6Music as a film director who also presents a radio show.

Tomorrow on The Incredible Suit I'll be interviewing Attack The Block's production designer, director of photography and editor. Please come back and read it, otherwise I will have wasted an awful lot of time which could have been spent banging on about You Only Live Twice.

Attack The Blog

If you pretend that nobody else on the internet has made this pun before, it's actually quite clever.

Anyway, this post is something of a trailer to let you know about the barely-containable excitement that lies in store for viewers of The Incredible Suit over the next week.

To celebrate the release of the directorial debut of this site's second tallest interviewee, Mr Joseph Cornish, the whole week will be given over to a series of posts which include rambling interviews with some of Attack The Block's toppest talents:

Acting types Luke Treadaway, Jodie Whittaker, John Boyega,

Simon Howard, Franz Drameh and Mr Nicholas John Frost!
Production designing type Marcus Rowland!

Directing of photography type Tom Townend!

Editing type Jonathan Amos!

And, of course, megaphone-wielding type Joe Cornish!

There'll also be a chance to win some shit-hot Attack The Block merchandise, although the exact level of shitty hotness has yet to be confirmed, so don't get too excited about that bit. It might be a photo of Joe Cornish squeezing one of my breasts.

The "fun" begins tomorrow with my review of the film (spoiler: I liked it) and continues until Friday or everyone gets sick of it, whichever comes first.

In the meantime, here's a condensed, and much more professional, version of what to expect over the next five days:

Shameless Plug For An Attack The Block Competition That's Nothing To Do With Me

If you've been paying attention, you'll know that Attack The Block is released next week. It's very good. What's also very good is this poster:

And as if that wasn't enough things that are very good, the Attack The Block Facebook page is running a competition where you can win an Attack The Block hoodie, ideal for wearing while out mugging innocent people killing aliens.

All you have to do is look out for the above poster in any of these locations: Birmingham, Brighton, Bristol, Edinburgh, Glasgow, Liverpool, Leeds, Manchester, Newcastle, London (Barking, Barnet, Bexley, Brent, Bromley, Hackney, Hammersmith, Haringey, Harrow, Hillingdon, Hounslow, Islington, Kensington & Chelsea, Lambeth, Lewisham, Tower Hamlets, Wandsworth, Westminster).

If you see one, take a photo of it and post it on the Facebook wall to be in with a chance of bagging some security camera-defying casual wear.

I know I don't normally post this kind of thing but I've got a good reason and if all goes according to plan you'll be thanking me this time next week.

Attack The Block Poster In Non-Crap Poster Non-Shocker!

From a distance it may look like it's called A(Pi symbol)ack I Block, especially if you're an idiot, but otherwise this is a refreshingly cool poster for what is, let's hope, a refreshingly cool film. Er... innit, um... blud. Brrapp?

Oh and have a trailer while you're here, although if you haven't seen it yet you clearly need to spend more time glued to the internets like what I is.

The Top 10 Movies Of 2011

Now that 2010 is mercifully behind us and everyone has bored everyone else to tears with infinite lists of varying unimportance, I thought I may as well get in early with my favourite films of 2011.

Now obviously I haven't seen any of these yet, so it's a largely unjustified - not to mention pointless - list, but I firmly believe this is exactly what my favourite films of the year will be come the end of December. If I'm wrong you are all welcome to write a lengthy comment about what a waste of time this post is, although if you're going to do that you may as well say the same about all the other posts and that would be an even bigger waste of time, only yours rather than mine. OH THE IRONY.

And before you go any further I would just like to briefly apologise on behalf of various film studios for not having any official title designs for certain films, rendering this post even more amateur than it already was.

1

Opens August 19th

2

Opens April 22nd

3

Opens April 8th

4

Opens September 16th

5

Opens June 2nd

6

Opens March 11th

7

Opens August 12th

8

Opens July 15th

9

Opens March 18th

10

Opens December 26th

Hmm. It occurs to me that I really am the definitive Empire magazine reader. Anyway, was I right? Come back in twelve months and find out! Or, you know, come back every day. That would be better.

An Exclusive Interview With Joe Cornish!!!!!!!1

Attentive viewers will recall The Incredible Suit's groundbreaking 2011 preview, and in particular my mounting excitement about Attack The Block, the directorial debut (if you don't count the odd TV show and music video) of Joe Cornish, the taller, less hairy half of Adam & Joe, officially the funniest living organisms on Earth.

Furthermore, those of you who have been unfortunate enough to read more than a handful of my posts will be aware of my love for Joe's theme song for Quantum Of Solace, which came about as a result of Song Wars, a feature on Adam & Joe's 6 Music radio show.

Given this embarrassing amount of fawning obsequiousness, and the fact that Mr Cornish is busy working on Attack The Block, The Adventures Of Tintin: The Secret Of The Unicorn and Marvel's forthcoming Ant-Man (the latter two as writer), nobody was more surprised than The Incredible Suit when he a) agreed to answer some preposterously inane questions I posed him, and b) didn't have me arrested and put under a restraining order. Although there's still time for that.

Hello Joe. I’m a little starstruck and don’t quite know what to ask. What do you think would be a good first question? Any question but that one. That just instantly flips all the work onto me, and the interview’s only just begun. How dare you. Jesus, this interview has got off to a really awkward and embarrassing start. Oh dear. Um... OK, I've got one. You’re that bloke off the telly and the radio. What are you playing at directing a big budget movie like Attack The Block? Every British citizen is allowed to direct one film each during their lifetime. It’s like Jury service. You get notified by post. What stage is the production at? Is it too late to give a small role to a witty and handsome film blogger? I’m talking about me. It’s not a stage production, it’s a film. And I couldn’t hear the second part of the question. A plane went over. Really? I didn't hear it. When can we expect Attack The Block to arrive in cinemas? I’m a bit bored of waiting tbh. Listen Mister Incredible Suit, I didn’t tell you to camp out in a sleeping bag in Leicester Square until the film comes out. You made that choice yourself. So don’t blame me if you’re bored waiting. Edgar Wright keeps banging on about how tired he is making Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. Are you getting enough sleep? I’m worried about you. Unfortunately Edgar’s being stalked by Freddy Krueger in his dreams (the original one, not the one from the remake), so he can’t go to sleep for personal safety reasons. Dennis Quaid is currently using my dreams to get to the bottom of some kind of global dream-warfare conspiracy, so it’s important that I sleep for as long as possible every night. That’s just how the cookie happens to crumble. You're appealing to my love of The Quaid there so I don't ask you any difficult questions. Good tactic. Presumably you’ll be recording a theme song for Attack The Block in the ‘Song Wars’ style, yes? It may yet come to that. You’ve been working with Steven Spielberg on The Adventures Of Tintin. I hope you had a word with him about Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull. Sorry. There’s another plane going over. Really loud. Must be one of those new double decker ones. Sorry. Hmm. Can you tell me anything about Attack The Block, Tintin or Ant-Man that nobody else knows? Some kind of exclusive would be great for my rep. Christ, it’s circling. So sorry. Oh for heaven's sake. OK, here's an easier one. You and Adam are back on 6 Music this weekend at Glastonbury, which is the best news, like, ever. When do you expect to be back for good? My train journeys are filled with gloom and despondency now that I don’t have the podcast. We’ll be back on 6 Music as soon as we can, if they’ll have us. I have to finish the film first, then I might take a bit of a holiday. Would that be okay? Where do you think I should go? But I reckon we’ll be back in one way or another before the end of the year. Thank you for caring. You're welcome. Try Rhyl. What’s your favourite colour? Blue Peter. Good choice. Finally, could you just say something concise, witty and complimentary about The Incredible Suit which I can quote as if it was an off-the-cuff comment you made down the pub one day? “I love the way The Incredible Suit is a blog about movies by a man.” That'll do I suppose. You may go now. Thanks a million! Thank YOU The Incredible Suit, it’s been a great honour. I enjoy your blog a lot. It’s funny. Bye!

So there you go. To briefly summarise the amazing scoops in there that you won't find ANYWHERE ELSE:

• Joe Cornish has a nocturnal mental hotline to The Quaid
• Joe Cornish can almost certainly be found at Rhyl Sun Centre later this year
• Joe Cornish spends a lot of time under a suspiciously busy flight path

The Incredible Suit can also exclusively reveal that Joe Cornish is much taller than he sounds on the radio.

And now, because I never miss an opportunity...



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Happy New Year! (Part II)

My preview of 2011’s best movies has been so overwhelmingly popular / such a massively misjudged disaster (I don’t know, I wrote this last week) that I’m taking things to the next level. And I don’t mean an awkward fumble over the clothes, you’ll be relieved to hear, but Part Two of…

Films That Might Not Be Crapples in 2011!

Attack The Block

Saturdays have been an abyss of despair since Joe Cornish left 6 Music’s Adam & Joe show to direct this sci-fi comedy about a bunch of South London kids defending their council estate against invading aliens, but I forgive him. AS LONG AS IT’S THE BEST FILM OF 2011. Which I’m sure it will be.
Very Much Looking Forward To: A theme song by Joe as good as his Quantum Of Solace offering

Best Minor Cast Member Name: Flaminia Cinque

Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows: Part II

Still not sure about the wisdom of splitting this into two films, but if this isn’t the best of the series I’ll eat my sorting hat. I’m also hoping it will, by July 2011, be socially acceptable to say that Ginny Weasley is a sexpot.
Very Much Looking Forward To: The epilogue looking much better than the leaked photos suggest
Best Minor Cast Member Name: Christian Wolf-La’Moy

Cowboys & Aliens

Despite predicting a complete disaster because Jon Favreau is “helming”, or “directing” as they used to call it, I’ll still be seeing this because you can’t not see a film starring James Bond, Indiana Jones and Eric Knox from Charlie’s Angels. Icons of a generation all. Also I hate cowboys and love aliens so it gives me something to root for. Come on you extra-terrestrial antagonists!
Very Much Looking Forward To: A high noon showdown between Daniel Craig and Christopher Johnson from District 9
Best Minor Cast Member Name: None, but Ervin Rustemagic is a co-producer

The Adventures Of Tintin:
The Secret Of The Unicorn

I’d be more enthusiastic about this if it wasn’t motion-capture animation, which fills me with a gut-churning dread, but when you’ve got the likes of Steven Spielberg, Peter Jackson, Steven Moffat, Edgar Wright and Joe Cornish involved you’d be Crackers Patel not to be interested. Like every film released in 2011, it stars Daniel Craig, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost.
Very Much Looking Forward To: The return of The Mighty John Williams
Best Minor Cast Member Name: Who cares? JOHN WILLIAMS IS BACK!!

Super 8

Everything exciting about this film can be found in this previous geekgasm.
Very Much Looking Forward To: The beginning, the middle and the end
Best Minor Cast Member Name: Give me a break, I doubt it’s even been written yet

So there you go. What have we learned? Not much, except that 2011 will be full of aliens, superheroes and comic book movies, and that there are some people in the film business with amazing names.

See you in six months!

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