Hello viewers, and welcome to The Incredible Suit, my new outlet for random witterings which I decided to start this morning because I felt like it. Hopefully it'll become a respected journal of thought-provoking musings, a long-standing record of life in the 21st century and a place in cyberspace for people to go to when it seems like there's no rationality to life and you need to read something - anything - to restore your faith in the human race. Alternatively it could be a massively pointless exercise in raging vanity and self-deluded twaddlesmithery and I'll be hounded from the interwebs by the guardians of common sense and decent thinking.
So why start a blog? God knows there are already plenty out there, some of which are very very good indeed - I'll link to the ones I like one day if I think it's worth learning how to - and some of which are shockingly dreadful. People start blogs because they think they're witty, incisive, original, important and various other things, or because they just want to write a diary but can't master a pen and paper. The worst reason to start a blog is because you've convinced yourself that the whole world might be interested in your internal mental noodling and by jingo you're going to let them have it. This, of course, is my reason for starting a blog.
My Mum once said, or at least I like to think she may have done, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." Quite right. In blogsville you could substitute the word 'nice' with 'witty', 'incisive', 'original', 'important' and various other things, and that's a rule I'll try and stick to. Someone else who wasn't my Mum, Abraham Lincoln I think, said "Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt." Also quite right. However I'm not opening my mouth am I, I'm typing stuff on a keyboard, so I can write what I like and be as foolish as I want, so TAKE THAT LINCOLN! Stick that in your ludicrous hat and see if it still fits, you great nincompoop! You should have been called Lincolnpoop! Although I thought you were very good in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, so I'll let it pass for now.