Wednesday 13 January 2010

The Fabled Katana Of Twaddle

Despite all evidence indicating the contrary, it turns out that I have the bare minimum of redeeming features required to convince another human to spend a significant portion of their life with me, and luckily for me it’s Mrs The Incredible Suit, a woman with infinite patience, the will to tolerate all manner of unbridled geekery and an almost complete absence of cooking skills.

What she lacks in culinary proficiency, however, she has this week more than made up for in pointless blog subject provision, having visited the Marvel website wherein you can, without any interference from diabolical villainous masterminds, create a visual representation of your own superhero.

So if any of you were wondering exactly what The Incredible Suit looks like while typing these words (or indeed watching movies, eating a sandwich or sitting on the toilet), the answer is:

To answer the most obvious immediate questions:
  • I don't know how the cape is attached
  • Yes it is bloody cold in wellies, a cape and titanium pants
  • That thing in my hand is the fabled Katana of Twaddle, with which I defend the interwebs from the evil forces of common sense, worthwhile conversation and Shia LaBeouf.
All I need now is my own theme tune; if anybody out there would care to provide me with one that would be marvellous.

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  1. Mr Suit,


    - cape attached with velcro

    - the titanium codpiece is only so big because it contains one of those little pocket hand warmers, and you are kept warm by convection. You look like you take steroids anyway, so it's not as if you have anything else in the codpiece. And you are cold.

    -Can we all have a shot with the K of T? I'd love to ram it in Michael Macintyres orifice - any of them would satisfy the required aim. I'd then smack Cheryl Cole over the head with it so her hair extensions fall out. Finally, I'd settle down in my favourite arty farty cinema, with a cold beer, and if any dares to have a conversation during a film, or insists on opening crackly sweet wrappers I could zap them without having to move. We could come to some deal over rental of K of T?

    - Finally, theme tune, Film 2011 film tune presented by you?

    Ms So So Jeans

  2. Attached with velcro to what? I haven't got hairy shoulders, as you can see by the picture. I'm fully waxed. All over.

    You can borrow the Katana Of Twaddle providing you join the Facebook group campaigning to get The Incredible Suit presenting Film 2011:

    Unless you're not on Facebook, in which case congratulations. You can have the K of T forever as a reward for not being a sheep like me (that's not a Wales reference).

  3. - You can buy sticky backed velcro, silly. Stick on back,attach cape

    - I am theoretically on Facebook but I hate it so haven't logged on in months. I don't like the Corporate attitude to privacy or the fact they made an IP grab on people's photos last year. I'd rather be socializing in person than wasting time writing "Ms So So Jeans is currently scratching her arse and snorting in disgust at the Avatar trailer". It goes without saying so why tell everyone.

    Sorry. But if it helps, the next time I log onto the soul sapping website I will join your campaign? Can I still borrow the K of T? promise to give it a clean before I return it.