Friday 5 March 2010

Cavalcade Of Cack

Right, so it's the Oscars on Sunday. As you are painfully aware by now, The Incredible Suit actively despises movie awards to the point of frenzied violence, and so should you. Nobody tells you what the best film of the year is except you (and, under certain circumstances, The Incredible Suit), so I recommend you all take as much interest in the Oscars as you would in a documentary on Radio 4 about the porridge mining industry in 13th century Peterborough.

However seeing as, come Monday morning, the entire planet will be either saying "Ooh, fancy that Avatar winning every single award, even the ones it wasn't nominated for" or "What's The Hurt Locker?", it would be churlish of me not to expend a small amount of energy blogulising about this cavalcade of cack. So for now I'll just pop down my predictions for the only awards that 99% of people care about, so that I can be insufferably smug about it / conveniently neglect to mention it on Monday:

Film
The Hurt Locker

Director

Actor

Actress

Supporting Actor

Supporting Actress

So there you go. Possibly the most hypocritical blog post ever written. To make up for it here's a short compilation of clips featuring Humphrey Bogart, winner of the Best Actor Oscar in 1952, and the lesser known Sour Apple Award for Least Co-Operative Actor in 1949. God damn it!



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3 comments :

  1. TheUnwashedMass5 March 2010 at 11:56

    But I love documentaries about porridge!

    ReplyDelete
  2. The Incredible Suit5 March 2010 at 12:35

    Then the Oscars are for you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Tony Cox6 March 2010 at 16:58

    'Cast Heroes' & 'Chose Star' are spooky anagrams of 'The Oscars'. I like Matt Damon's idea that the Oscars be awarded for films ten years after their release year. More than half the awards would be different with the benefit of hindsight.

    I liked the Hurt Locker. It has the scariest windscreen wipers ever. You jump out of your skin when thay screech into action in a bomb laden car. The audience I experienced the film with cowered as one.

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