Cavalcade Of Cack

Right, so it's the Oscars on Sunday. As you are painfully aware by now, The Incredible Suit actively despises movie awards to the point of frenzied violence, and so should you. Nobody tells you what the best film of the year is except you (and, under certain circumstances, The Incredible Suit), so I recommend you all take as much interest in the Oscars as you would in a documentary on Radio 4 about the porridge mining industry in 13th century Peterborough.

However seeing as, come Monday morning, the entire planet will be either saying "Ooh, fancy that Avatar winning every single award, even the ones it wasn't nominated for" or "What's The Hurt Locker?", it would be churlish of me not to expend a small amount of energy blogulising about this cavalcade of cack. So for now I'll just pop down my predictions for the only awards that 99% of people care about, so that I can be insufferably smug about it / conveniently neglect to mention it on Monday:

Film

The Hurt Locker

Director

Kathryn Bigelow

Actor

Jeff Bridges

Actress

Sandra Bullock

Supporting Actor

Christoph Waltz

Supporting Actress

Mo'Nique

So there you go. Possibly the most hypocritical blog post ever written. To make up for it here's a short compilation of clips featuring Humphrey Bogart, winner of the Best Actor Oscar in 1952, and the lesser known Sour Apple Award for Least Co-Operative Actor in 1949. God damn it!

To comment on this post, click here