Wednesday, 24 March 2010

The Incredible Suit's 30-Minute Freeze-Frame Challenge #10: The Empire Strikes Back

The 30-Minute Freeze-Frame Challenge is a futile, inane experiment which judges a film's merits entirely on how good it looks at 30-minute intervals according to arbitrary and indistinct criteria applied by The Incredible Suit. For previous challenges, click the links on the right.

Thanks to The Incredible Suit viewer Anthony for suggesting we test the midichlorian count of The Empire Strikes Back, marking the fourth of the only 15 completely perfect films ever made to appear in the 30MFFC. I'd say "may the fourth be with you", but that would be neither funny nor relevant, so I won't.

The Empire Strikes Back is so full of iconic moments and images it makes me weep every time I see it that something so beautiful could, by a sheer fluke of timing, be made in my lifetime. However, as we have seen, even the majesty of The Godfather and the terrifying glory of Aliens weren't enough to make it through the 30-Minute Freeze-Frame Challenge in one piece. Will Empire escape from the jaws of a giant space worm or will it be frozen in carbonite and hung on the wall of a massive talking turd's palace?

Note: These shots and timings are from the 1997 Special Edition, the only one of the trilogy not to be rendered laughable by Mr Lucas' nonsensical tinkerings. I tried it with the original version too. It failed.

0:30:00 You can't park there sir, can't you see this is a giant metal camel crossing?

1:00:00 Luke is so confident in the force that he wanders round Dagobah with his eyes shut. In the next shot he walks into a tree. (I did something clever there, did you get it?)

1:30:00 I think that's Darth Vader in the middle there, but to be honest it could be Batman. Or Severus Snape. Or the chick from the Scottish Widows advert.


OK, I'm bored of the 30-Minute Freeze-Frame Challenge now, as I'm sure most of you were nine weeks ago. Let's call this the end of season one, and I'll bring it back some time in the future if the fanbase demands it. Keep sending in your suggestions though so I don't have to do too much thinking, and please tell all those people who've been avoiding The Incredible Suit every Wednesday for the last two months that it's safe to come back now.

May the fourth be with you.

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  1. Ironically, the Robot Chicken video fails a 30 second freeze-frame challenge as well

    0:30- an empty set.
    1:00- Han and Chewie facing the other way, at a droid that's not looking at them.
    1:30- close-up clearly showing that R2 is in fact another toy in a costume. POOR SHOW!

  2. At last MFFC the Mitchigan Fly Fishing Club and MFFC the Massachusetts Fire Fighting Control, can relax. Those misdirected sacks of competition suggestions will no longer keep them awake at night.

  3. It just won't die. Like Robert de Niro in Cape Fear.

  4. Sod ya then... I want my Slade In Flame DVD back!

  5. My birthday is the 4th of May, so you can say May the Fourth be with you, I have been for many years.

  6. My wedding anniversary. I told Mrs The Incredible Suit she had no choice.

  7. I love the 30 minute freeze frame challenge..

    what about that epic 'magnolia' - as one of the longest films ever its bound to fail.. but it is a masterpiece!

  8. You need to do one of these on No Country for Old Men...I'm sure it will go straight to #1
    Either that or Fargo...what say you? If you do, make sure it's the bluray version as the picture is incredible!
    Posted by Marge Gunderson (I remain un-anonymous)

  9. Don't give up the freeze frame challenge, it's only just got started for me.
    Marge Gunderson.

  10. Can you please do Apocalypse Now? I think it would do well :)