At long last, the interminably tedious awards season has trundled to a halt like a vacuous, irrelevant steamroller running out of vacuous, irrelevant steam. Given that The Incredible Suit has its finger on the pulse of the movie world, I thought it might be interesting to cast a glance back at some of the award winners and see what I had to say about them at the time of their release:
The Golden Globe Award for Best Actor in a Musical or Comedy
The Irish Film And Television Award for Best International Actor
The Incredible Suit:
"I'm reasonably sure that Holmes wasn't American"
"I'm reasonably sure that Holmes wasn't American"
The Golden Globe Award for Best Motion Picture (Drama)
The Broadcast Film Critics Association Award for Best Action Movie
The Incredible Suit: "Apocalyptically awful"
The Evening Standard British Film Award for Best Film
The BAFTA Award for Outstanding British Film
The British Independent Film Award for Best Director
The Cannes Film Festival Jury Prize
The London Critics Circle Film Award for British Film Of The Year
The Incredible Suit:
"It had, like, NO explosions, car chases, aliens or robots"
"It had, like, NO explosions, car chases, aliens or robots"
The Critics' Choice Movie Award for Best Adapted Screenplay
The BAFTA Award for Best Adapted Screenplay
The Golden Globe Award for Best Motion Picture Screenplay
The LA Film Critics Association Award for Best Screenplay
The USA National Board of Review Award for Best Film
The Incredible Suit:
"In no way is it exceptional, extraordinary or otherwise notable"
"In no way is it exceptional, extraordinary or otherwise notable"
The London Critics' Circle Award for Film Of The Year
The BAFTA Award for Best Film Not In The English Language
The Cannes Film Festival Grand Prize of the Jury
The London Film Festival Award for Best Film
The French Cesar Award for Best Film
The Incredible Suit: "A bit rubbish"
The Oscar for Best Film and Best Director
The BAFTA Award for Best Film and Best Director
The Broadcast Film Critics Association Award for Best Film & Best Director
The Directors Guild of America Award for Outstanding Director
The LA Film Critics Association Award for Best Picture and Best Director
The USA National Film Critics Award for Best Film and Best Director
The Incredible Suit:
"The kind of film the words 'six out of ten' were made for"
"The kind of film the words 'six out of ten' were made for"
So now you know where to come in future for all your on-the-nose movie reviews.
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Do you like movies? I just wondered, as you like, run a movie blog and that?
ReplyDeleteI like a tiny percentage of movies. I hate a slightly larger percentage. The vast majority, well represented in this post, are average. And average isn't good enough.
ReplyDeleteIf all this mediocrity and apathy brings you down, you probably shouldn't read tomorrow's Alice In Wonderland review.
'I am a camera' 1955 had one of the shortest reviews ever "Me no Leica." The shortest was for 'Isn't it Romantic?' 1948 "No." Both very much 'on the nose'.
ReplyDeleteOn critic of 'Ben-Hur' 1959 wrote "Loved him, hated Hur".
I would draw The Readership to the song Low 7, by the Incredible Suit's alter ego Superchap, available here: www.sittingtarget.net
ReplyDeleteand on iTunes.
Pretty much explains everything.
The irony being that Low 7 is really about films that are 6 out of 10. Big difference. Sloppy songwriting.
ReplyDelete