Thursday, 21 October 2010

London Film Festival: Clone

Boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl back, girl loses boy, girl clones boy, boy and girl live out a quasi-Oedipal existence in a shack in the middle of a bleak, deserted, windswept beach. How many times have we heard that story?
Now I've seen enough films at the LFF to know that when a BFI type introduces a movie with the words "haunting and poetic", what he really means is that it's punishingly slow to the point where you're frequently unsure whether or not the projector has stopped. You can't fool me, BFI type.

Clone is a textbook example of this kind of linguistic cover up. It's the sort of film that, if you're not in the right mood, you'll be screaming at the top of your lungs at to just PLEASE GET ON WITH IT. When one character adopts a snail it's difficult not to see it as a deliberate measure to ensure that the pace doesn't pick up too much.
Still, if you mentally prepare yourself for the lethargic tempo and make peace with the peculiar, deliberately stilted style of acting which Eva "Not Just Another Bond Girl" Green and Matt "Forever Doctor Who" Smith* have apparently been forced into by Hungarian director Benedek Fliegauf, then Clone is a thought-provoking and undeniably beautiful film. Think Attack Of The Clones meets Back To The Future played at one frame per second.

Actually it's nothing like either of those films, forget I ever mentioned them.

As a bonus, Clone confirms Natalia Tena (The Incredible Suit's choice for a future Bond girl and/or Miss Moneypenny) as the sexiest member of the Order of the Phoenix in a small but revealing role.
She looks better in the film.

Womb is showing on Tuesday 19th October and Wednesday 20th October, which means this review is embarrassingly late.

*Yes, I'm aware the character is just called "The Doctor". Leave me alone.

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  1. Saw it yesterday. The awkward silence in the audience when the credits started rolling pretty much sums up what I thought of the film.

    Must admit only went to see it mostly because of Eva Green and Matt Smith.

  2. I was in the BFI bar last night when the announcement for Womb was made. Being the sloth I am, I couldn't be bothered to get up and find out what it was actually about and spent 5 minutes arguing about it with my companion (yes, I am THE DOCTOR). Thank you for your review. I can now go and tell Companion that she was wrong wrong wrong. The film doesn't involve a MAGNETIC WOMB.

    Some people. Honestly.