Friday, 8 October 2010

How To Shift More DVDs: Attach A Stupid Sticker

Apparently, people who buy DVDs know absolutely nothing about the film they're paying for. They just blindly stumble into shops, desperate to spend their cash on something, anything, armed with no information about the myriad films on offer. They need all the help they can get deciding what to buy, and this is why DVDs have little stickers attached to them to provide that extra nugget of incentive to pick one product over another in a competitive market.

I say, this "The Terminator" looks good - oh hang on, it's from the director of Avatar. The last thing I need is another twelve-hour festival of crap starring the Blue Man Group. Back on the shelf it goes. Ooh look, Hot Shots!

I don't know what this sticker's trying to tell me. "For Die Hard Fans Only"? Die hard fans of what? Cop Out? Bruce Willis? Tracy Morgan, whoever she is? Or do they mean "For fans of the film Die Hard only", in which case do I have to prove my love of Die Hard at the till along with my age? Oh hang on, it's £10.97. Back on the shelf it goes.

You know what, after the most awful week at work, all the terrible tragedies I've suffered lately and that traumatic experience with the ventriloquist's doll, I could really do with a good laugh. This looks ideal!

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  1. The irony is, most folk buy their DVDs online. Have they worked out how to do e-stickers yet?

  2. A nice one this week on the release (finally) of Fanboys- "Featuring Seth Rogen in THREE separate roles!" Surely a Sellers-esque tour-de-force from the stoner-master...

  3. Just read the plot to Dead Silence. Oh my. That's not funny AT ALL