Tuesday, 18 May 2010

Sherlock Holmes On DVD Now! Buy Something Else!

Sherlock Holmes is out on DVD this week. According to find-dvd.co.uk, the DVD version is a little shorter than the theatrical version:

But that, like Shia LaBeouf, is irrelevant. What The Incredible Suit would like to point out today is that there are a number of other things you could spend the recommended retail price of £19.99 on which would almost certainly enhance your life more than watching Guy Ritchie turn one of literature's most cerebral, intellectual characters into an ass-kicking pair of rock hard pecs.

E, as they say, G:

For a quite literally unbelievable £4.99 you can ask the nice people at Amazon to send you The Complete Stories Of Sherlock Holmes. That's every single story Sir Arthur Conan Doyle wrote (56 short stories, four novels) about Sherly, and you can take it from The Incredible Suit that they're ace, even though they're, like, well old and stuff. In fact for the RRP of the film you can buy four copies of this book and give three to people you love.
Advantages: You don't have to look at Jude Law.
Disadvantages: Weighs roughly the same as a Ford Fiesta.

For less than nine quid you can get the soundtrack album on new-fangled 'Compact Disc'. It's by far the best thing about the film and features Hans Zimmer going mentile on a cimbalom. Good work Zimbo!
Advantages: You don't have to look at Jude Law.
Disadvantages: There is a picture of Jude Law on the cover. Just throw it away.

This box set of no less than FOURTEEN Sherlock Holmes films starring Bezzle Rethbowne as the titular dick can be yours for a mind-bogglingly reasonable 15 nicker. These babies represent a more faithful take on the characters and, amazingly, when Holmes puts a fake beard on it doesn't just look like Holmes with a fake beard on.
Advantages: You don't have to look at Jude Law.
Disadvantages: Some of the films are a bit cackapoopoo in all honesty.

If you're a bit stupid you could allow yourself to accidentally buy this version of Sherlock Holmes for just £4.99. It stars such screen legends as almost-porn-star-named Ben Syder and is directed by no less a talent than Rachel Goldenberg, producer of Transmorphers 2 and Second Unit Director of Alien Vs Hunter, The Terminators and 2012: Supernova, and therefore perpetrator of violent crimes against cinema. To be fair I haven't seen it, it could be amazing.
Advantages: You don't have to look at Jude Law.
Disadvantages: Features dragons, dinosaurs and a giant octopus. Actually that sounds incredible, buy it.

To comment on this post, click here


  1. Mr Suit,

    Saw this and thought of you.


  2. I kinda dig that The Asylum video.

  3. Watson: What sort of complaint is 'cackapoopoo'?

    Holmes: Alimentary my dear Watson.

  4. This movie is really clever and awesome...