Thursday, 8 April 2010

John Rambo And The Inconsistently Named Sequels

I filled a Stallone-sized gap in my film knowledge the other day by watching Rambo. Well actually it wasn't Rambo, it was First Blood, the first film to feature John Rambo, although in countries like Austria, France and Italy it is called Rambo. Not to be confused with Rambo, the fourth film to feature Rambo (also called John Rambo), or Rambo: First Blood Part II, the second First Blood film to feature John Rambo (called Rambo 2 in some territories). Rambo III obviously comes before Rambo (unless you're in Austria, France or Italy, where it comes after Rambo but before John Rambo). Where Son Of Rambow fits in is beyond me.

Even the guys who made the DVD box set were so confused they didn't know what to put on the spine, so they just left it blank, irritating carefully-arranged DVD shelf lovers everywhere:

Anyway, First Blood, for both of you who haven't seen it, is daft. A man is arrested for smelling bad, escapes police headquarters and hides in a small cluster of trees. The cops over-react by trying to kill him, so he over-reacts back by punching some rats in the face and blowing up an entire town. Then he has a cry and is arrested again.

Even the poster tagline is daft. "This time he's fighting for his life" implies that we've seen him fighting before, which we haven't, and for something other than his life. Maybe for control of the telly remote or something. Perhaps it's a reference to his time in Vietnam, although I strongly suspect his life was at least in the top two things he was fighting for there.

It's the highest-rated of all the Rambo / First Blood / Over-Reacting Rat-Punching Cry-Baby films on IMDb, so I look forward to seeing the rest over the next few weeks courtesy of ITV4, which is so called because it is four times better than ITV1.

Now if that doesn't get me a job reviewing films for a bestselling newspaper or magazine then I don't know what will.

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  2. That animation is hilarious. So macho. "Get me Rambo!"