Wednesday 30 March 2011

Blog Post About Blog Posts Heralds End Of Days

I love this website. I don't know if it's called SlashFilm, Slash Film, slashfilm, slash film, Slash film, Slashfilm, slashFilm, slash Film, /Film or /film and as far as I can tell, nor do they, but I still love it. It's the greatest online dumping ground for news, posters, trailers, rumours and all sorts of other piffle. I can even forgive their frequent and apparently unironic use of "LOL" to prefix stuff that may precipitate a slight raising of the corner of the mouth but is rarely, if ever, Laugh-Out-Loud-worthy (that's right Mum, it doesn't stand for Lots Of Love).

Their ceaseless mission to provide at least six posts per minute, however, reached critical mass on Monday when they hit us with a hat-trick of stories that have no place on the information super-highway, being neither informative nor super. I love a bit of gossip as much as the next idiot, but some of these posts are as pointless as a gallery of pictures of Roger Moore in knitwear:

I'm a busy man. There's a lot of stuff out there on the internet. What I don't really need clogging up my eyeballs is the news that a film I didn't think was happening still isn't happening. I made a "joke" about this on Twitter which I hereby recycle so as not to have to think of a new one:
If you're not following me on Twitter I bet you wish you were now.

I'm still trying to untangle this headline, but: "Development of Fourth 'X-Men' Movie Leads to Fifth Film"? Surely the development of the fourth film has in fact just led to the fourth film? Or is the point that the fourth film leads to a fifth film? I don't know, but if it is I look forward to future articles about how day leads to night, unprotected sex leads to babies or itching and Zack Snyder directing a Superman film leads to a shit Superman film.

I thought I was good at just coming up with any old garbage on a quiet day (let's say today, for example), but I must confess I'd never thought of posing a question in the title of a blog post only to answer it firmly (but bizarrely) in the negative in the first sentence. If Russ Fischer would like to get in touch and explain the linguistic rationale behind the mind-boggling phrase "any realistic level of reality", I'm all ears, because it seems to me like he may have watched Inception once too often. Amusingly, about 24 hours after posting this, Russ wrote another post claiming "'Justice League' Definitely Planned For 2013", which implies that we are now officially operating on an unrealistic level of reality.

Having said all that, keep it up fellas. Lovin' your work!
*winks, makes 'chk-chk' sound*


  1. I think the phrase "Economical with the actuality" best describes the bloggers in general.

    Which reminds me...

    The film 'Little White Lies' opens in April. Written and directed by
    Guillaume Canet Starring Marion Cotillard.

  2. To be fair the film slasher only claims to blog the reel world - the world of make believe - not the real world.

  3. I was actually talking to Film-Intel on twitter yesterday about what is probably the underlying cause of this problem. Most of these movie news site care more about reporting new first then they do about reporting news that is relevant. This means they post a bunch of stuff that is completely unnecessary just to make sure that they get it posted before anyone else. What it comes down to is that there are just far too many movie news sites out there and each one is trying to beat the guys to the punch.

  4. prairie_oysters30 March 2011 at 16:38

    It's easy to accuse /Film* of championing breaking news over journalistic breadth but then every so often they do a little video appraisal of a film/trailer/wisp of coloured smoke they've seen, often in cahoots with their chums from &, and then it's a ROLF-AGGEDDON

    *that's how their name appears in my browser tab heading - ergo that's what they think they're called

  5. The Incredible Suit will look sublime clutching some of this Gucci excess baggage.

  6. "So, the birth of the near handbag in 1996 renamed are Dior to show his princess Diana sincere respect."

    Quite right too. God bless the queen of our hearts.