Thursday 1 October 2009

Blood And Thunder

The regular viewer of The Incredible Suit (Mrs Incredible Suit) will by now be painfully aware of my increasingly frightening obsession with James Bond, and in particular my illogical and virtually insane assumption that ruminating on who might perform the theme song (Muse), who might play the villain (Vincent Cassel) and so on will have even the most imperceptible effect on the actual finished product.

And so it is with those viewers - sorry, that viewer - in mind that I present today’s post. I’ve had a good long cogitate, and yes I enjoyed it very much thank you, and I can now reveal the title of the 23rd James Bond film, if it was made in a world in which The Incredible Suit had even the slightest influence on anything.

I’m calling it Blood And Thunder, which is a fricking magnificent title if you ask me, and you have because you entered into a contract to do so by opening this web page. More fool you. But seriously, imagine Muse belting that out at a bajillion decibels. Astonishing.

Blood And Thunder is the title of a chapter from Ian Fleming’s novel “You Only Live Twice”, and I think it’s appropriate to keep to something Fleming created, even if it’s only the title, because it’s respectful to do so. Also it sounds like all bloody hell might break loose which can only result in ten sacks of awesome. As a brief and incongruous cultural aside, you may also be interested to know that Lord Byron used the phrase in his poem Don Juan, the obvious parallel being that Mr Juan, like Mr Bond, is a dirty old womaniser*.

There is, however, potential for Blood And Thunder (the movie) to stink like a barrel of rotten armpits because so many “people” (it would be rude to call them idiot holes) think the last two Bond films were “too serious” that there’s every danger we’ll see Daniel Craig farting about in space dressed as a clown, in which case I can easily see the title being changed to “Thud And Blunder” by hilarious Daily Mail film critics. So be warned, Bond filmmakers, if that happens there will be blood. And thunder.

Some Bond fans have already created their own fictional posters for the next Bond film using Fleming titles and shoved them onto the interwebs:
However The Incredible Suit, rather than bashing something embarrassingly amateur out while waiting for the kettle to boil, can exclusively reveal the official Blood And Thunder poster here! Now! I know!

*I am blissfully ignorant about, and in fact actively detest, poetry. I almost certainly found this trivia on Wikipedia.

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