The Jameson Empire Awards 2010

So the nominations are in for the Empire Awards, which The Incredible Suit is not legally obliged to call the Jameson Empire Awards as this blog is not funded by Jameson. It is, however, powered largely by 7-year-old Cuban Legendario Rum, and I would be more than happy to rename it The Legendario Suit if a crate were to mysteriously plop through my letterbox one day.

Anyway, it's customary for us all to fly into an apopleptic rage upon the announcement of award winners because, for some reason, our favourites didn't win. This is one of the many reasons why The Incredible Suit hates award ceremonies. However they do say you can't complain if you didn't vote, so pausing briefly to say DAMN YOUR EYES BORIS JOHNSON, I can safely say that I shall be voting in the Empire Awards in order to allow myself ample spleen-venting opportunities come back-slapping night.

Last year I dutifully voted, then forgot what I'd voted for, so I didn't know whether to be cross or not at the results. This year I'm going to write them down in blogular format so they're there for all to see and I can know for definite whether to be fumingly incandescent or smugly superior.

So:

Best Newcomer

Sharlto Copley (District 9)

Utterly convincing as annoying wazzock turned tragic loser.
Would therefore play me in a film of my life.

Best Thriller

Harry Brown

There had better be a bloody good reason
why Mesrine wasn't nominated.

Best Horror

Let The Right One In

The only one on the list I've seen. Horror films scare me.

Best Comedy

In The Loop

Surely Up was a comedy?

Best Sci Fi / Fantasy

Star Trek

For some reason Avatar is on this list.

Best Actor

Michael Caine (Harry Brown)

There is no point nominating anyone else in this category.

Best Actress

Melanie Laurent (Inglourious Basterds)

I suppose.

Best Director

Neill Blomkamp (District 9)

You could make ten District 9s for the
amount it cost to make Avatar. Think on.

Best British Film

Harry Brown

Although the second half was daft.

Best Film

Star Trek

Let The Right One In, Empire's best film of 2009,
not nominated. Explain please.

I realise this makes it look like I thought Harry Brown was the best thing since ladies' jumper bumpers, but I can assure you that's not the case. Although the first half of it was 100% Cainetacular.

So roll on whenever it is the winners are announced, I'm jiggered if I can find the date anywhere on the internets. Bit of an oversight on Empire's part there I suggest.

Mmmmmm.

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