Thursday, 4 March 2010

A Little Accident In My Nether Garments

Last week you may recall I nearly had a little accident in my nether garments after laying eyes on this month's subscribers' issue of Empire Magazine. Here's the vastly inferior plebs' cover:

The beady-eyed amongst you will notice they claim it's their "Sensational 250th Birthday Issue". Now by my reckoning, and I've got a B in GCSE Maths, that means they've been going since the year 1760. As received wisdom suggests that cinema as we know it was invented in around 1896, what did they find to write about for the first 136 years?

I have a strong suspicion it contained pretty much the same old stuff:

Er... obviously Photoshopping was in its infancy then, hence the appalling design work.

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  1. Moving Pictures, out thisse Monthe: - Dorchester Heights - being an accounte of the domination of the Porte of Bofton over the Brytysshe.

    Independence Day - Nothing to do wythe giant dinner plates in the skye

    Birkenstock - Peter Jacksonne's three-years-in-the-making 4-houre 'talkie', utilising 'special effectes' is finally released.

  2. Now that's what I'm talking about.

  3. The Mad Hatter or the White Rabbit will back me up when I point out that film has been around for ages and ages for sages. The early Empire Magazine was reviewing what Toads get excited by - Frogsporn.