Casablanca: The Re-release That's Even Better Than The Phantom Menace

It's literally impossible to add anything useful to the four hundred and seventeen trillion words already written about Casablanca. Anything I say will have already been written, even if I were to include a bizarre collection of random letters, numbers and symbols like like "h8£!$95h%fkls($&".

Nevertheless, it would be remiss of me not to direct you to the nearest cinematorium displaying the re-release of the 70-year-old masterpiece, because it truly deserves the rarely-used title of "one of The Incredible Suit's fifteen or so greatest films ever made", and if you haven't seen it yet then what place do you have in this world? None.

So stop reading immediately and go and wallow in the astonishing screen presence of Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman at their most romantically delicious; sigh with actual, tangible heartbreak that you'll never go anywhere as fantastic as Rick's Café Americain or have as noble, heroic a boss as Rick; marvel at the effortless plot setups and payoffs and the intricate tangle of relationships that fuel the timeless story; allow your eyes to bathe in some of the most perfect compositions to ever grace a cinema screen and wail like a big French baby at the La Marseillaise scene. Then enjoy the depressing sensation that accompanies the realisation that almost nothing else made in the history of the movies is as good.

h8£!$95h%fkls($&.