Sunday, 3 July 2011

The Week In Trailers

If this is going to become a regular feature, as I'm sure you're all hoping it will, I need to call it something else, because a) it's a shit name, and b) Slashfilm already have the very similar and equally shit "This Week In Trailers". Suggestions please.

Meanwhile, here's The This Week In Trailers!

No jokes! There are no jokes! Where are the jokes?! I was at least hoping the hero would turn out to be a short fat guy who farts. Damn Pixar and their reluctance to conform to stereotypes.

The Guard
Let me just take this opportunity to say that In Bruges is one of the most overrated films of our time. Too long have I kept that to myself. Too long.

Mission: Impossible - Goat Proctologist
There can't be anyone in the galaxy who isn't looking forward to the fourth instalment in the world's most inaccurately-titled franchise, right? There's been a massive oversight in the marketing of this one though, which I would like to address right now:

War Horse
Literally the most exciting thing about this is that John Williams is doing the music. Here's a sneak peek at his theme song:

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy
I literally cannot find a single thing wrong with this trailer. If this film isn't in my Top 5 by year's end I'll eat my cock.
And it may have taken me nearly a whole day but I finally worked out where the music was from.


  1. Suggestions for this slot:
    Weak Trailers (ho ho, depending how shit they are)
    Trailer Park
    Trailer Parc (if any films included are Johnny-Foreigner)
    Incredible Trailer Sweet
    This-is-actually-quite-a-good-feature-but-any-title-will-sound-cliche-or-rubbish (it is and it will)

    By the way Tinker Tailor may be good but the TV series will still shit all over it.

  2. 'The Incredible Preview Suit'

    'The Incredible Suitable Sightings'

    'The Incredible Suit shows you the big one'

    'The Incredible Suit's pocket preview'

    'The Incredible Suit Ties Up Next Week's Releases.

    'The Incredible Suit Trouser Turn Ups'

    Or some such variation.

  3. 'Next Week's Film Suitcase'
    'The Incredible Film Suitcase'
    'Sprocket Head's Diary'
    'The Incredible Film Clips'
    'Multiplex Clips'
    'Tick It Tickets'
    'Simplex the Multiplex'
    There must be the germ of an idea there. I'll keep looking.

  4. Tinker, Trailer, Soldier, Spy ?

  5. 'The Incredible Promo Picks - Week #28'

    I am coming round to the idea that promo videos or trailers for films are an art form in their own right. They are a bit like an opera compilation disc of all the arias with the padding in between left out. Perhaps a visit to the flicks should take account of the trailers that will be shown. Brilliant - Inception cut down to a couple of minutes.

    Better still, if you already saw the trailer for today's main show last week, then you don't need to sit through the whole thing. Just come to the cinema each week and leave once the trailers are done.

    Yes, in this busy world that must be a valuable time saving strategy. The Incredible Suit will be giving us the 'Heads Up' for which promos to go for.

    Oh dear...these trailers are online...err... Oh well, just see them online and never visit a cinema again.