Friday, 17 December 2010

What Can Loosely Be Described As The "Top 10" Movies Of 2010

I say "loosely" because really only the top four or five have earned the right to be in my Top 10. The rest wouldn't be allowed within shitting distance of such a list in any other self-respecting year.

So here are The Incredible Suit's ten least worst films of 2010, presented in reverse order of least-worstness in a pathetic attempt to drum up some excitement as you make your way towards the bottom rubbishest movie of the year. Go enthusiasm!

A dull story about a bunch of wankers told with unmatchable style, wit and skill by one of the world's greatest living directors. David Fincher could direct a film of this blog and make it bearable. He's that good.
Lazy but easily marketable description for idiots: It's Revenge Of The Nerds meets The Net!

Not just "funny", but also "touching". I know because the internets said so. Julianne Moore and Mark Ruffalo for Best Everything at next year's Oscars.
Lazy but easily marketable description for idiots: It's Desert Hearts (or some other famous lesbian film) meets BBC1's My Family! But funny! And touching!

Satisfyingly engrossing murder mystery populated by well-written characters and directed with style and elegance. The exact opposite of its sequels.
Lazy but easily marketable description for idiots: It's Murder Most Foul meets The Seventh Seal (or some other famous Swedish film)!

You might need the novel as a guidebook, but this is an undeniably massive pair of quality funbags (thanks largely to Mrs Weasley) from start to finish. Not that it actually, you know, finishes as such.
Lazy but easily marketable description for idiots: It's Harry Potter meets Lord Of The Rings! In a tent!

Uneven but solid entertainment which should spawn a cracking sequel. Hit Girl is this generation's Ripley, only swearier.
Lazy but easily marketable description for idiots: It's Spider-Man meets Batman starring that potty-mouthed kid off of The Exorcist!

Occasionally uncomfortable, often hilarious, always brilliant: it's THE FILM THAT TOOK THE WORLD BY SURPRISE! Or at least both of us who saw it. Good job, "marketing department".
Lazy but easily marketable description for idiots: It's Mrs Doubtfire meets Kevin The Teenager!

Insanely high expectations may have led to initial disappointment, but this panoply of pixellated punch-ups comes out fighting with every repeated viewing. Quality Edgartainment.
Lazy but easily marketable description for idiots: It's Fight Club meets Grease!

Nothing new from Pixar, just the effortlessly perfect blend of action, comedy and drama that rival animation studios can only Dream of.
Lazy but easily marketable description for idiots: It's Toy Story meets Toy Story 2!

Minds were blown, brains were melted, eyes were popped. All of which made a terrible mess, but when it's this entertaining you really can't complain. Unless you're the one cleaning the cinema.
Lazy but easily marketable description for idiots: It's Dreamscape meets that episode of Scrooge McDuck they're all on about!

The greatest film about a box since The Box. Director Rodrigo Cort├ęs sticks to pleasingly old-school filmmaking while Ryan Rodney Reynolds keeps it grounded. Grounded! Ah, deary me. *wipes eye*
Lazy but easily marketable description for idiots: It's Lifeboat meets Boxing Helena!

So off you pop, "2010". It was semi-nice knowing you. Byeeeeeeee!

9 comments :

  1. I've only seen half of the movies in TIS top ten, so must try to get to the rest.

    Where are 'The King's Speech', 'True Grit' and 'Hereafter'? All have been tipped for awards.

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  2. They're all released next year so don't count. Also I haven't seen any of them.

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  3. Buried at one? Wow. didn't see that coming.

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  4. Good list. Unfortunately, you missed off 'How Train Your Dragon'.

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  5. How to Train Your Dragon may be my top film of the year. For serious.

    Good choices, Mister Suit!

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  6. Winter's Bone is mine, not good enough to make your top ten Mr Suit?

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  7. Very useful was 'How to Train Your Dragon'. I keep alongside my 'Windows For Dummies' and 'The Highway Code'.
    By the way, dragons are good at clearing the snow from paths and flying over snowed in roads. They are the thing to have just now.

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  8. Winter's Bone was OK. Ditto How To Train Your Dragon. Never need to see either of them again though.

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  9. I liked your list. We share some of the same picks, but I've got a couple unconventional favorites of my own. They are here: http://movieworship.blogspot.jp/2013/02/top-10-films-of-2010.html in case you're interested.

    Shane
    movieworship.blogspot.com

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