Friday 23 April 2010

How To Successfully Remake The Karate Kid For A New Generation In Five Easy Steps

1. Take one film about a bored teenager who discovers love and, with the help of a substitute parent, finds meaning and purpose in life thanks to an occasionally brutal sport, soundtracked by contemporary pop songs and containing a healthy dollop of cheese.


2. Remove the teenage boy and replace him with a teenage girl.


3. Remove the old codger father-figure and replace him with five mother-figures.


4. Add approximately twenty pairs of roller skates.


5. Hey presto! You have a new film about a bored teenager who discovers love and, with the help of substitute parents, finds meaning and purpose in life thanks to an occasionally brutal sport, soundtracked by contemporary pop songs and containing a healthy dollop of cheese.

 

Further Whip It observations:

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10 comments :

  1. Did you hear about the three whip its?
    Whip it in.
    Whip it out.
    Whipe it.

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  2. I don't get it.

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  3. Mr Suit,
    I've had a bit of a Ewan McG weekend and I'm a tad confused. Why was his Yankee accent (I Love You Philip Morris) more bearable than his estuary (East London?)(Ghost) accent? That was just wrong, wrong, wrong. I was distracted briefly as he got his arse out (of course, as is the way for Ewan).

    Your insight, please?

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  4. I'm just trying to work out why anyone would have a McG weekend. I mean, Charlie's Angels is OK, but its sequel *and* Terminator Salvation? That's just masochism.

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  5. Ewan!!!!! Not McG, credit me with some nouse. The ginger haggis muncher, silly.

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  6. Ah, I see. No idea. But I know I can easily distract you from my lack of knowledge by simply typing DANIEL CRAIG'S TRUNKS

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  7. You think I'm so shallow......and I am, but I can still cogitate over a dodgy English accent while thinking about Danny boy's trunks or watching Ewan's arse. I'm a woman, we multi-task remember. Particularly when squeezable arses are involved.

    Anyway, I have another film related question for your excellence since you weren't interested in my first. If we can get fancy 3D films, impressive CGI, stunning stunts why on earth when fake photos are produced in films to show the protagonist as a teen, or with family the photoshopping is so bloody appalling? Even I can stick someone's head on someone elses's body in photoshop and not make it look like a Frankenstein concotion, so why can't these film makers? Well, answer me that then Mr Suit, huh huh?

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