1. Take one film about a bored teenager who discovers love and, with the help of a substitute parent, finds meaning and purpose in life thanks to an occasionally brutal sport, soundtracked by contemporary pop songs and containing a healthy dollop of cheese.
2. Remove the teenage boy and replace him with a teenage girl.
3. Remove the old codger father-figure and replace him with five mother-figures.
4. Add approximately twenty pairs of roller skates.
5. Hey presto! You have a new film about a bored teenager who discovers love and, with the help of substitute parents, finds meaning and purpose in life thanks to an occasionally brutal sport, soundtracked by contemporary pop songs and containing a healthy dollop of cheese.
Further Whip It observations:
- Juliette Lewis is now well on the way to becoming a real, actual man
- Andrew "Brother Of Owen And Luke" Wilson is now officially the Wilson brother the others have to beat
- Drew Barrymore is the greatest woman to ever simultaneously wear roller skates and direct a film
- Whip It is very good. Like, 7 out of 10 good
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low 7 ?
ReplyDeleteExactly.
ReplyDeleteDid you hear about the three whip its?
ReplyDeleteWhip it in.
Whip it out.
Whipe it.
I don't get it.
ReplyDeleteI suspect it's rude.
ReplyDeleteMr Suit,
ReplyDeleteI've had a bit of a Ewan McG weekend and I'm a tad confused. Why was his Yankee accent (I Love You Philip Morris) more bearable than his estuary (East London?)(Ghost) accent? That was just wrong, wrong, wrong. I was distracted briefly as he got his arse out (of course, as is the way for Ewan).
Your insight, please?
I'm just trying to work out why anyone would have a McG weekend. I mean, Charlie's Angels is OK, but its sequel *and* Terminator Salvation? That's just masochism.
ReplyDeleteEwan!!!!! Not McG, credit me with some nouse. The ginger haggis muncher, silly.
ReplyDeleteAh, I see. No idea. But I know I can easily distract you from my lack of knowledge by simply typing DANIEL CRAIG'S TRUNKS
ReplyDeleteYou think I'm so shallow......and I am, but I can still cogitate over a dodgy English accent while thinking about Danny boy's trunks or watching Ewan's arse. I'm a woman, we multi-task remember. Particularly when squeezable arses are involved.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I have another film related question for your excellence since you weren't interested in my first. If we can get fancy 3D films, impressive CGI, stunning stunts why on earth when fake photos are produced in films to show the protagonist as a teen, or with family the photoshopping is so bloody appalling? Even I can stick someone's head on someone elses's body in photoshop and not make it look like a Frankenstein concotion, so why can't these film makers? Well, answer me that then Mr Suit, huh huh?