Thursday, 27 August 2009

The Nutbuster

What are you doing between now and Boxing Day? Compiling a Christmas card list full of people you never hear from? Worrying what to buy for people you hardly know? Praying that Cliff Richard doesn't release a Christmas single?

The Incredible Suit has two plans. If the first is successful, you’ll hopefully hear in the news that every branch of every supermarket has been flattened under the weight of billions of diaries, all of which have had December 24th circled in red with big arrows pointing to it and the words "THIS IS WHEN YOU CAN START SELLING CHRISTMAS JUNK YOU CYNICAL, MONEY-GRABBING TURDPIPES, NOT SEPTEMBER!!!" written in what may be blood.

The second is much less psychotic and considerably less likely to result in me blogging from chokey with only a massive bald bloke called The Nutbuster for company, who wants me to spend Christmas picking up his soap. My plan is to spend the seventeen weeks between now and Boxing Day at the flickhouse watching the following sixteen tiptops-looking films that are released between now and then. If you too would like to get as childishly excitable as me, why not tell your boss you’re doing some important research on internet-based marketing methods and watch these trailers?*

The Hurt Locker August 28
Mesrine: Public Enemy No. 1 August 28
District 9 September 4
Dorian Gray September 6 (which is a Sunday. Bonkers!)
Surrogates September 25
Le Donk & Scor-zay-zee October 9
Up October 9 (Four months after the US release. FOUR MONTHS!)
The Imaginarium Of Dr Parnassus October 16
Thirst October 16
9 October 30
2012 November 13
The Informant! November 20
The Box December 4
Where The Wild Things Are December 11
Avatar December 18
Sherlock Holmes December 26

I am also struggling to contain a happygasm about Gentlemen Broncos but it doesn’t have a release date yet.

Now if that's not a better way to spend the next seventeen weeks than girding your loins for enforced merriment and saving up to buy useless crap that nobody wants, then I don't know what is. Apart from picking up The Nutbuster’s soap, obviously.

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*Because you’re probably not an obsessive freak, that’s why.


  1. Some will spend more time watching daytime telly or making telly. "The day Max wore his wolf suit and made mischief of one kind or another, his mother called him Wild Thing and sent him to bed without his supper." That was from memory from reading it to my kids. It will be good to see a book come alive. The Incredible Informant has a Thirst Up for 9 Gray Wild Avatars that would Hurt the Imaginarium of Holmes.

  2. Can't argue with that. I literally wouldn't know where to start ;-)

  3. Some of those look very good, I must say. Let the wild rumpus begin.

  4. My apologies. I thought you had made a monumental error in missing off Ponyo from your list, only to do some research and discover to my utter dismay that it's not released here till Feb next year. Cannot (but must, apparently) wait for Ponyo. It will be my first Studio Ghibli cinema experience (my heart is a flutterin' at the thought). Till then, it's gonna be The Informant that I'll be waiting for this year. I have a new-found respect for MD since watching the Bourne films.

  5. Fried Pisces, the wild rumpus has already got off to a shaky start with The Hurt Locker. In a word: meh. More next week.

    Spuf, Ponyo will be on the 2010 list without a doubt. Get ready for the Miyazaki poll... Spirited Away, surely?

  6. Hmm, not sure that Spirited Away would be at the top of my list. I tend to revisit Princess Mononoke and Howl's Moving Castle more, but all of Miyazaki's films are fantastic, so it's hard to put a finger on a favourite.

    I recommend Tokyo Godfathers for some hilarious and touching non-Ghibli anime.