Monday, 4 April 2011

2011: Year Of The Helmet

If there's one thing we can expect from this year's blockbuster season, it's an impressive display of helmets. Big helmets, small helmets, shiny helmets, funny-looking helmets... 2011 has them all. So come with me as I take a long, hard look at some of the year's loveliest helmets.

X-Men: First Class (Magneto)
One day Magneto will grow up to sport a large, shiny, purple helmet, but in this year's X-Men prequel his helmet is a bit cheesy. It looks like he may have bashed his helmet quite hard at some point because the centre appears slightly deformed. I wouldn't be at all surprised if the cause of his turn to evil was the humiliation that resulted from all the girls laughing at his embarrassingly misshapen cheesy helmet.

X-Men: First Class (Professor X)
I don't know what's going on with Professor X's helmet. He's shoved goodness knows what into it and there's stuff coming out of it all over the place. No wonder he ends up in a wheelchair.

Captain America
Captain America's helmet - seen here with just one eye - is interesting in that it seems to have some kind of leather apparatus attached to it. I'd probably recommend that Cap loosens the strap on his one-eyed helmet, as it appears to have gone blue, and I'm not sure that's normal.

Thor (Thor)
Here we see Chris Hemsworth and his Thor helmet. It looks like his Thor helmet is making him slightly uncomfortable: that grimace is the universally recognisable sign of a man with a Thor helmet. Still, he's the god of thunder so maybe he'll be able to shoot bolts of lightning from his helmet at some point. Wouldn't that be an impressive sight? 

Thor (Loki)
Loki is the god of mischief, and it's clear from this image that he's planning to get someone in trouble with his helmet, the little tinker. Probably his brother, Thor. Although I can imagine Thor will put up quite a fight - in fact if his own Thor helmet is still causing him discomfort I wouldn't be surprised to see him take Loki's helmet in order to relieve himself.

Immortals (Aries)
Oof! I don't know about you but I wouldn't fancy being on the receiving end of this helmet. Frankly it seems a little impractical to me, I mean, I can't imagine what Aries does with his helmet when he goes to bed. You wouldn't want to be poked by that in the middle of the night, would you?

Immortals (Athena)
Here's something we don't see very often: a lady with a helmet. Although she doesn't seem to mind having this particular helmet coming part-way down her face, there are strands of something dangling off the helmet and down her chest area, which I must say I would find quite annoying if I were her. Still, she's got a firm grasp on the shaft of a big sword there so I'm sure she can take anything.

Harry Potter And The Deathly
Hallows: Part 2 (Voldemort)
Obviously Voldemort hasn't actually got a helmet, the poor fella, but if you take a closer look, the hilarious irony becomes apparent...
His head looks like a cock!


  1. Nobody in the whole entertainment field looks better in a helmet than Brunnhilde, the Valkyrie in Wagner's operas Die Walkure, Siegfried and Gotterdammerung (which is not over till the fat lady sings.

    Brunnhilde is the daughter of the god Wotan and is easily the most formidable female ever conceived.

  2. What is film's most iconic helmet? My vote is Leia's helmet in Jedi. Nothing spectacular in the deisng, but there's a whole scene about her helmet and its effects on an ewok.

  3. Athena looks much better in her traditional helmet, I reckon.

  4. I thought you thought 2009 was the year of the helmet.

    See your post on Monday 3rd August 2009 with a photograph of Darth Vader's naked soft slightly pink coloured helmet oiled up and ready for some sizzling hot action.

  5. Mate, if your cock looks like Baldymort's head you need to see a doctor, like, yesterday.

  6. Of course it doesn't look like that! It's got green eyes.