Ten very good reasons why Napoleon Dynamite is perfect

One of the biggest problems with the world today is that not many people realise that 2004 indie comedy Napoleon Dynamite is one of literally not many perfect films ever made, by which I mean it's up there with 2001, Vertigo and Raiders Of The Lost Ark. If only people could grasp this simple concept I'm confident we'd see an end to global warfare, terminal diseases and kids on buses playing music out loud, so I see it as my duty to the citizens of Earth to explain why it's such a sublime work of art.

1. The title sequence

FACT: Every meal seen in this sequence is eaten by someone at some point in the film. Beat THAT, "Saul Bass".

2. The cinematography

Napoleon Dynamite is almost entirely shot in static takes to make the most of Munn Powell's lazily gorgeous compositions. If rural Idaho is anything like this I'm not surprised everyone who lives there is a fruitcake.

3. The soundtrack

From Bow Wow Wow's I Want Candy to When In Rome's The Promise via John Swihart's crackers synth score, the soundtrack is all killer, no filler; even Jamiroquai's Canned Heat isn't entirely unwelcome. This track isn't on the album, which is a crime against God:

Patrick Street- Music For A Found Harmonium

4. The script

"Do the chickens have large talons?"

"I like your sleeves. They're real big"

"I caught you a delicious bass"

I try and use at least two of these every day. That's why I'm so phenomenally popular at social gatherings.

5. Jon Heder has never been as good

The Benchwarmers, School For Scoundrels and Blades Of Glory may claim to star Jon Heder, but they're just diet versions of Napoleon Dynamite. I think it's because Napoleon's teeth are Heder's own, the poor bastard.

Fortunately he has one of the best fansites on the whole of the internets, which brings a wholly original meaning to the phrase "Official Fan Club".

6. The actors, costume designers and make-up artists do, like, well good acting, costume designing and make-upping

Sadly I don't know anyone like Napoleon, Pedro, Kip or Uncle Rico, but it's a credit to everyone in Napoleon Dynamite that they're completely believable, perfectly realised characters in the film's universe. In fact it's slightly depressing to see that, apart from Jon Heder, all the actors look like normal human beings in real life.

7. The dance

Films with some kind of rousing musical climax - Back To The Future, School Of Rock, Moulin Rouge!, even Dirty Dancing - really get my froth on, and Napoleon Dynamite's "dance" is a painfully liberating expression of friendship, blind self-confidence and absolutely not giving a shit. Sadly it's almost impossible to find on YouTube because it's buried under an avalanche of twats trying to emulate it and completely failing to get the point in the process.

8. The final scene

It's beautiful.

9. They're turning it into a cartoon

This isn't a very good reason why it's perfect but I needed to round it up to ten and it seemed like as good a time as any to mention it. I do hope it's not shittocks.

10. The Incredible Suit

Yes, this is where your favourite movie blog gets its name from. Now please stop asking.

All of which makes it incredibly frustrating that of director Jared Hess' subsequent films, Nacho Libre was complete rubbs and Gentlemen Broncos sunk without trace. The campaign for a sequel starts here!*

*It doesn't.