Salt

"Who is Salt?", we have been continuously asked on movie posters across the land, under which the words "Angelina Jolie" appear, thus bringing a swift and satisfying conclusion to this brief conundrum.

 

 

Sadly the film of Salt takes considerably longer to answer the question, and it concludes that Salt is:

• A woman who is incapable of kicking anyone without first running half way up a wall
• A woman who works for the CIA, who interrogate defectors using an amazing device which can detect both lies and cancer
• A woman who lives in a world where windows are used as exits more often than doors, and are glazed with that magic movie glass that shatters at the slightest impact but doesn't leave a single mark on anyone passing through it
• A woman whose life is like an entire series of 24 condensed into 100 minutes
• A woman who tediously sets herself up for a franchise despite making only an average movie
• A woman. I know this because I saw a BBC interview where Angelina Jolie said: "I've done a lot of action films as a woman"

I can't help but think that Sony have missed a marketing trick with the poster though, so I decided to help them out:

 

 

Bonus LOL: The IMDb Parents' Guide can always be relied on to provide over-zealous profanity warnings:

 

 

It's true, she does say "Dorn", in a scene in which she spots Michael Dorn, the actor who plays Worf in Star Trek.

 

To have a guess at who Salt is, click here