Wednesday, 26 January 2011

Screw The Recession. YOU NEED THIS



Hello, I'm calling to subscribe to James Bond's DB5 magazine please, as I'm a James Bond fan who recently had his brains removed while he slept.

Yes, I'd like every weekly instalment. How many are there again? 85 you say? Why, that means I'll have completed the model as soon as July 2012, assuming you don't go bust in the meantime and run off with my money! Marvellous!

Issue 1 is just £1.99 is it? Well, to a money saver like me that seems very reasonable. What's that? All subsequent issues are £6.99? Um... well, that only seems fair. After all, it has been authorised by Aston Martin and EON Productions, who must surely be acting independently and have absolutely no financial interest in me forking out my hard-earned cash! Brilliant!
So, how much will I be paying in total? £589.15? Gosh, that seems a lot. Yes, you're right, it is nearly two feet long and weighs twenty pounds. Well in that case it's a bargain! Amazing!

And when exactly will I receive the chassis and the shell, you know, the bits that will make it look like an actual car rather than a pile of plastic crap cluttering up my desk and blocking the hoover? Around the 80 week mark you say? Hmmm... what's that? Check the Facebook page for recommendations if I'm having second thoughts? OK...
Well, if it's good enough for an over-excited ten-year-old then it's good enough for me! Awesome!

What's that? FREE BINDER?!! *faints*
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3 comments :

  1. Tony Cox26 January 2011 at 09:40

    For that money you could have a day at Goodwood driving any of a fleet of classic supercars and have enough left over for some Dom Perignon when you get home.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous26 January 2011 at 16:58

    For that money you could buy one three-hundred-and-fourteenth of an actual 1964 Aston Martin DB5. If you can convince 313 other people to do that instead of this, then a timeshare DB5 could be yours, and you can drive it for over a day a year.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Tony Cox26 January 2011 at 20:41

    I wonder if the model DB5 is the right size for Dr. Evil's 1/8 size clone Mini-Me in Austin Powers : The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999)?

    Austin Powers was of course the inspiration for the James Bond novels of Ian Fleming.(Yes, I'm sure that is right.)

    Dr. Evil: Mr. President, after I destroy Washington D.C... I will destroy another major city every hour on the hour. That is, unless, of course, you pay me...
    [emphasis]
    Dr. Evil: one hundred billion dollars.
    The President: [bursts with laughter] Dr. Evil, this is 1969! That amount of money doesn't even exist.
    [laughing]
    The President: That's like saying,
    [with changed voice]
    The President: "I want a kajillion bajillion dollars."

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