Sunday, 9 August 2009

Stomach-Churning Pole Dance

You know who you are. I know who you are.

Listen: True Lies was directed by James Cameron and stars Arnold Schwarzenegger in his least believable role as a husband and father leading an unlikely double life as a secret agent. It famously features Jamie Lee Curtis doing a stomach-churning pole dance in her smalls which immediately negates all the good work Cameron did for ladyfolk with Aliens and the Terminator movies.

True Romance was directed by Tony Scott and was the first script written by Quentin Tarantino in his inimitable, already-tiresome style. It stars Christian Slater and Patricia Arquette as two crazy kids trying to flog a shedload of questionably-sourced cocaine to a Hollywood bigshot while being mithered by the ghost of Elvis.

While it’s probably fair to say True Romance is better than True Lies, that doesn’t mean it should win a poll in which it wasn’t even nominated. That’s just silly.

This week’s poll is: What’s the greatest John Hughes film, like, ever? Now, please don’t confuse The Breakfast Club with Breakfast At Tiffany’s. Sixteen Candles does not feature Bruce Willis dragging Mos Def through New York, that’s 16 Blocks. And Uncle Buck is not about a 20th Century astronaut frozen for 500 years only to discover that everybody is dressed like they’re at a 1970s swingers’ party.

Honestly, you guys. Must try harder!

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  1. Who on earth would be silly enough to be thinking of the wrong film when voting in a poll. Heavens to betsy!

  2. Jamie Lee, I can't imagine. Only a COMPLETE AND UTTER IDIOT HOLE!!

  3. I kinda like True Lies. I voted for Terminator.

  4. Thanks for voting Joshua. The Terminator was my second choice, I'm an Aliens man all the way ;-)

  5. The Terminator seems a little more organic, whereas a lot of Aliens is a bit forced. Like the main female character that isn't Ripley, she just seems like a ridiculous way for Cameron to claim he's attuned to feminist ideals. Plus it's responsible for the decline of the Alien series, so I also haven't forgiven it for that.

  6. Personally, I rather enjoyed Ms Curtis's pole dance.

  7. Mary Whitehouse, you're a dirty old man. Another sentence I never thought I'd write.