The Wolfman

The Wolfman is out now. In brief, it's a mildly enjoyable, mercifully short slice of low fat horror cheese. It has some completely stupid bits, a lot of cliches and some terrible acting, but what do you expect? It's 2010, probably the worst year for movies since 1998, which I can barely bring myself to think about (Best film: A Bug's Life).

Anyway, Anthony Hopkins is in it, and The Incredible Suit has three insignificant observations to make about him and his character:

INSIGNIFICANT OBSERVATION #1

He can't decide on whether to go with a Welsh or Irish accent throughout the film, so he alternates between them in each scene. It's very distracting.

INSIGNIFICANT OBSERVATION #2

His character is called Sir John Talbot, which, by a staggering coincidence, is the name of the secondary school I went to:

It's called a Technology College now, whatever that means. They must have bought a computer since I was there.

INSIGNIFICANT OBSERVATION #3

It wasn't Anthony Hopkins at all. It was Teddy from

Artificial Intelligence:

That sound you can hear is the bottom of the 'tenuous lookalike' barrel being scraped very, very hard.

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Up

This week’s Top 10 greatest Pixar films, like, ever:
(Last week’s positions in brackets)

1. (1) The Incredibles
2. (2) Toy Story 2
3. (3) Toy Story
4. (4) Monsters, Inc.
5. (New Entry) Up
6. (5) Finding Nemo
7. (6) Ratatouille
8. (7) WALL•E
9. (8) A Bug’s Life
10. (9) Cars

I couldn't write a review of Up because I was too busy crying like a baby, so here's a pictographic appraisal from our guest reviewer:

I did, however, have to endure this exchange with the chap at the box office (which took place at about 5.30pm):

The Incredible Suit: “Can I have two tickets for Up at 8.40, please”

The Chap At The Box Office: (incomprehensible mumbling) “…We only have tickets for 6.40 or 9.10”

The Incredible Suit: “Really? Has it sold out already?”

The Chap At The Box Office: (slowly, as if talking to an imbecile) “Nnooo, we just… don’t have a showing at 8.40”

The Incredible Suit: (slowly, as if talking to an imbecile) “This is Up we’re talking about, yeah?”

The Chap At The Box Office: (pauses, as if world has been turned inside out) “You said District 9”

The Incredible Suit: (slowly, because definitely talking to an imbecile) “Nnooo, I said ‘two tickets for Up at 8.40’”

There then followed a lengthy pause in which The Chap At The Box Office stared at me very hard while he tried to work out if I was taking the piss or if there had been some kind of ripple in the space-time continuum. He then grudgingly gave me my tickets for Up and went, presumably, to get the popcorn removed from his ears.

Say it out loud to yourself. Up. District 9. Up. District 9. Up. District 9. Is there even the most microscopic phonetic similarity in those two film titles that could cause one to be mistaken for the other? Of course not. This is why God invented online booking.

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