Dominic West's Penis Inspires Ridiculous Competition

Those of you who breathlessly follow my every tweet will have already seen this still from forthcoming extended episode of Jonathan Creek British ghost story The Awakening, which I posted on Twitter the other day and which appears to have been created with the sole purpose of giving people something upon which to superimpose a cock:

I tweeted it because I wanted to see what the twisted hive mind of Twitter might do with it given the opportunity and a few spare minutes with Photoshop (other picture-modifying software is available). I was flooded with responses, by which I mean I had one response, from HeyUGuys Big Cheese Jon Lyus, who took the whole "photoshopping a cock onto a movie still" brief and rammed it up its own arse:

While Jon's image is more terrifying than anything that happens in The Awakening, I still can't help but feel that there are many of you out there hiding your light under Garry Bushell.

So I've decided to offer a loft-clutteringly huge prize to the creator of the most fabulously bastardised version of the original still that gets dumped into my inbox. There are no rules, your entry doesn't have to be penisy, just let your creative juices spurt freely. Here's what you could win (dining room table not included):

I realise that may look suspiciously like a bunch of random tat I found lying about the house, but it is in fact:

• A pair of Harry Potter 3D glasses
• DVDs of Charlie Chaplin's Monsier Verdoux, A Woman In Paris and A King In New York
• DVDs of Kill Speed (starring the Backstreet Boys' Nick Carter) and Kung Fu Panda
• A blue silk Rolling Stones scarf
• Issues 1-3 of The Crazies, whatever that is
• Issue 1 of CLiNT magazine, which might be worth something one day but probably not
• A never-been-worn The Amazing Spider-Man t-shirt (size small, but would fit a medium I reckon)
• A couple of random postcards
• A Nicolas Cage face mask, ideal for wearing while watching Face/Off

Now if that's not a prize worth fighting for I don't know what is. Email your efforts to me here before, I don't know, next Thursday or something and I'll announce a winner soon after and post it on this very blog right here for all the world to marvel at. OK? Go!