Monday, 27 September 2010

Severe Cliché

I was recently sent, out of the blue, a copy of a film called This Is War. Or at least it says This Is War on the disc and on the DVD menu; when you get into the film it turns out it's called Severe Clear. Presumably the person in charge of Branding Continuity was off sick that day.
It's a documentary in which US Marine First Lieutenant Mike Scotti films his time in Iraq during the early stages of military operations in 2003 with a camcorder, and it's sold as a true depiction of what it's like to be behind enemy lines.

In the first scene, Scotti is seen packing a bag. He puts on a gas mask and looms close to the camera, breathing heavily. I actually said out loud, to an empty room, "If he says 'Luke, I am your father' in a deep voice, I'm turning this off". Sure enough, he said "Luke, I am your father" in a deep voice. So I turned it off.

Let that be a lesson. There are rules, people.

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  1. That sounds pretty awful. I sometimes wish they'd send me screeners, but I guess I should be careful what I wish for :S

  2. Rule #1 There are no rules.
    Rule #2 Refer to rule #1.

    By the way, what did you do when you turned off the DVD that was a better experience?

    You quessed what Scotti guessed was what you quessed he would say next so he said it to establish a rapport. Ask yourself if you would resist the same temptation if you put on a gas mask and heard your own Darth like breath. Would the DVD have been better and would you have watched to the end if Scotti had said in a deep voice "Commander, tear this ship apart until you've found those plans! And bring me the passengers, I want them alive!"

  3. I just decided to turn off the TV set and go out and do something less boring instead. Why don't you?

    To be fair I did do a very similar thing once when I put a gas mask on. WHEN I WAS TEN.

  4. Why don't I do something less boring? Surely you're not suggesting I find something more Suitable than the Incredible Suit? Your sustained river of prose impresses me. It is like a cross between Alexander Walker and Jeremy Clarkson. It does not happen casualy. You put a great deal of time, effort and thought into each blog posting, and I don't think anyone's time is wasted reading it.