Friday, 17 July 2009

Dumber'n A Bag O' Spanners

Yes viewers, it's that time of the week again when I announce the winner of this week's poll, although the result has been sitting there on the right of the page for a good few hours now so it's not so much an announcement as a protracted, verbose statement of the obvious designed to make an utterly inconsequential survey seem like an altruistic exercise in democracy. Also you've already seen my expertly treated graphic representation above so if you've read this far without working it out you're dumber'n a bag o' spanners.

The winner is, duh, 2001: A Space Odyssey. Well done, you mind-boggling, groundbreaking, absolutely astonishing and quite perfect work of art you.

What's more exciting is that we saw a 60% increase in voter turnout on last week, which makes me very happy. If this continues week on week I calculate that by the beginning of next year there will be over a million people voting. Trust me, I actually worked this out.

So let's try and get at least 25.6 votes next week with this poll, in honour of the release of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: What's The Greatest Harry Potter Film, Like, Ever? And don't go clicking on the titles below to vote, you need to click the little buttons in the poll over there on the right, capisce?

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
(the one with the dude with a face on the back of his head)
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
(the one with the massive snake at the end)
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
(the one with Gary Oldman and the Dementors (good name for a band))
Harry Potter and the Goblet Of Fire
(the one with the interminable and pointless tri-wizard tournament)
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
(the other one with Gary Oldman where he falls into a mystical open lift shaft at the end)
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
(the new one. You probably haven't seen it yet but it's here for the sake of completeness)

I've also added the option "All Harry Potter films are bobbins" for those of you who complained because they didn't want to vote for musicals or alien movies in previous polls. HAPPY NOW?!

The poll closes at 5pm on Thursday, so get voting! This stuff matters, you know! A lot!

By the way, if anyone's interested in what the Bruno DVD cover will look like when they ask me for a quote, here it is:

However it is better than Star Trek V: The Final Frontier, which I watched the next day. Seriously, if anyone can explain to me what that dude at the end who was pretending to be God was all about, get in touch. It made about as much sense as William Shatner's syntax.

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