"Hello, is that the timber yard? Oh hi, I'm just doing a genuine photo shoot for the Tamara Drewe poster. I'm in a real field with some real people who are all really actually here behind a real actual fence, and I just need two bits of timber to hide their feet for no obvious reason.
You have? Cool. OK I need two completely identical bits of wood that are exactly the same shape and size and have precisely the same markings on them, but can you make them slightly different shades of brown so they don't look exactly the same? Otherwise people might think I've just done a sloppy photoshop job, hahaha.
You can? Wickedcoolsweetniceonemate. Laters."
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