Friday, 18 January 2013

The Incredible Suit 2009-2013

All good things must come to an end, they say, and it turns out the same is true for all fatuous, half-hearted things too. Yep, grab a tissue, because the world's best movie blog to be called The Incredible Suit is ceasing production of ill-informed film prattle as of today.
 
It's OK, man. Let it go.

When I decided, on June 24th 2009, that what the world needed more than anything was to know how I felt after watching Chicago the night before, I had no idea a) how wrong I was or b) how much my tiny world would change as a result. But change it did, and before you could say "Goodness me, three and a bit years have passed", I was interviewing Roger Moore and Daniel Craig in the same week. If 2009 me had known, he would have shit himself from both sides.

I'm stopping writing The Incredible Suit because lots of other writing opportunities have presented themselves lately, and balancing them with a full time job, a blog and some kind of life is too much like hard graft for a workshy fop like me. Those opportunities came, though, as a direct result of me sitting down to chat shit about Chicago, so take heart, fledgling bloggers: if you bang on about James Bond enough on your own site, maybe one day you too will get to spend an hour in Roger Moore's company on behalf of the world's greatest film magazine. You will need to sort out your dreadful spelling and grammar though.

I'm aware that a lot of The Incredible Suit's content has been unmitigated shit, but there is the odd winnet of goodness in there that I've been quite pleased with - interviewing heroes like Joe Cornish (twice), David Arnold and Danny Kleinman, for example, or that thing with the crisps. Most of all, though, I'm proud to have fathered BlogalongaBond and ushered it through some difficult times, like Thunderball for example. It was with unbridled joy that I realised I was basically MAKING PEOPLE WATCH BOND FILMS, and if I achieve nothing else in my life I know that with that one, selfless act, I made the world a better place. I'd like to extend my thanks, a big hug and the offer of sexual intercourse to everyone who took part, especially those that joined in every single month and saw it through to the bitter end.

The most unexpected fallout from writing The Incredible Suit is that, given that I only ever thought it would be read by close friends, complete strangers who read it have ended up becoming close friends. Having started a blog because nobody in the real world knew what I was wittering about, I now have an entire circle of equally annoying freaks who at least understand the true genius of Timothy Dalton.

So as I pack up my words and take them off to new and better-paying homes, I'd like to say thanks to a few people. I'd like to, but I'm not going to, because unless you're one of them you don't care, and also I'll only forget someone and make them cross. But if you've been reading this rubbish for any length of time and not immediately posted some hate about it on Twitter, then consider yourself thanked. And if you're my wife, who's been unfathomably understanding about all this cack for over three years, then consider yourself thanked even harder.

As well as whoring out badly-constructed sentences to various regretful outlets, I'll still be talking balls on Twitter, occasionally dumping foul-smelling opinions on Letterboxd and - I'm very excited to say - continuing to blogulate my own brand of cabbage on the pages of the world's new best film blog, The Shiznit. So if you ever find yourself in a dark moment, unsure of how to feel about George Lazenby, that's where I'll be, waiting to hold your hand and tell you it's OK to like On Her Majesty's Secret Service.

Thanks for reading and sorry about the rubbish bits,

Neil
x

68 comments :

  1. We love you, Neil! BlogalongaBond was a life-changing (read as: blog-traffic generating) experience for me, and I'll miss reading your film waffle on here. If you get to meet any more Bonds, would we hear about it on here, or via The Shiznit? There are still three to go, man!
    Thanks for all the free funny, sir.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love you too. Any further abuse of Bond actors will probably be detailed on The Shiznit, but keep across Twitter for all developments.

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  2. NOOOOOOOO! DON'T LEAVE US SUIT! WHERE WILL I NOW READ NEWS ON THE LATEST JAMES BOND MEMOROBILIA? WHERE?

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  3. All the best for your well deserved future success, Neil. Its been a pleasure reading The Incredible Suit for the last 3-and-a-bit years.

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    1. Thanks Sam! Feel free to ask for any more Bond advice as and when.

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  4. Aww that's a shame no doubt. Considering all the other filth on the internet, this quality disappears while they thrive!

    Take care dude, I hope to read more of your ramblings on other channels.

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    1. Thanks Austin. Nowt wrong with a bit of filth.

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  5. Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

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  6. Replies
    1. You haven't read the comments I got on a post about a Resident Evil poster.

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  7. It's a sad day for film blogging!! All the best for the future, and I look forward to reading your reviews on Letterboxd & The Shiznit.

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    1. Thanks, but I feel I may have purified the blog pond with my exit.

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  8. Why is everything closing this week. First HMV and now this. I don't think I can take anymore of this. If Waterstones closes I'm going to have some kind of a break down (again) This is not the kind of news that one can read standing up. It's sad for two reasons, a) because the Suit is Incredible breathing some kind of ridiculous brand of humor into the world and b) who else will I have to emulate my own blog on. Today is a dark day for the world. Also good luck in everything else that may befall you in your conquest

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    1. I actually engineered the downfall of HMV and Blockbuster in order to get everyone in the mood for my news. And don't emulate anyone. That's everyone else's mistake.

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    2. That last bit was surprisingly profound now that I think about it, and I had a feeling you had something to do with the downfall of HMV, being an evil mastermind must come easily after watching so many watches of James Bond. I'm going to have to buy another suit to deal with this

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  9. Officially the end of an era, your posts have amused and entertained me throughout the years sir.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The end of an error more like. Error! Ah, dearie me. *wipes eye*

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  10. Joey, it has been a pleasure reading the Suit over the last 3 odd years.

    While I will miss your unique brand of 'humour' immensely on a literally daily basis I am of course delighted that opportunities are opening up for you on other, less reputable rags.

    I will continue to stalk you from a distance wearing camo paint and scream bloody murder to/at your face.

    Hopefully see you soon.

    Crowtyboy

    P.S. Sell Out

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks old bean. I am continually comforted by your failed attempts to stalk me without being seen. It's the exposed, raging erection that gives you away.

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  11. Will you be leaving all the content up? Just so I don't have to go through and remove all your links on IMDb, you understand. Respec', Huey (IMDb)

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    Replies
    1. Everything will remain Huey, wouldn't dream of making more work for you ;-)

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  12. *boots up Anakin Skywalker mode*

    Nooooooooo!

    A sad day.

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  13. BOOOOOOO!!

    Enjoyed reading all your posts since finding your Joe Cornish interview, was always a pleasant surprise when your blog popped up on Google Reader. The unique photo shop stylings were a particular treat. Good luck in the future!

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    1. Thanks Anonymous, you were always my favourite commenter.

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    2. Oh and BTW the Shiznit is really good, been reading a few of the posts, look forward to seeing your stuff there.

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  14. Feeling some awkward sadness through the most part of this article, my mood was brightening up again after reading the passage about you joining Ali and the others over at TheShiznit.
    I truely loved your blog and always will* - but since TheShiznit is one of the sites which I ALSO surf regularly for random, ill-informed, biased, funny as hell rubbish on films, I'm really delighted that you found your new home there.
    Just promise to keep your raunchy language, cynical style, the photoshopped pictures and your man-crush for Gozz the boss.

    Last thing - and I know I shouldn't say that - you've become something like a role model for me.

    Thanks for making all the hours at the office nearly-bearable, reading your stuff and forgetting my actual work.

    *man, I even showed some of your articles - which had me shitting my pants with laughter - to my girlfriend, just to see if she gets your ..ummm.. special humor

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    Replies
    1. So happy to have made you feel awkward. And no, you shouldn't say that stuff about role models. The world is a bad enough place as it is.

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  15. You are a true hero, Mr Suit. I was totally relieved I wasn't the only person whom thought License to Kill was one of, if not the, best Bond film.

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  16. Dude, no! I'm so sad - this is one of the most genuinely funny blogs on the webz. Thanks for the lols (...who even am I with these expressions?), and best of luck with the actual paid writing. You'll be stellar.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks you. I think you'll find it's "expressionz". x

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  17. Dear Neil,
    While I am sad to hear this news I would like to wish you the best of luck in the next stage of you movie media career. My wife and I have rarely laughed so hard as we did each month at blogalongabond - you never failed to hit the target. Furthermore I find your rags to riches (you know what I mean) tale quite inspirational. In this world of squeezed budgets and mass redundancies you can still make it in the area you love best if you have the requisite talent and passion.
    Kind regards,
    John

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    Replies
    1. Thanks John, very kind. I'm glad to have satisfied both you and your wife simultaneously.

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  18. Best of luck, I enjoyed it while it lasted! As I may have said before, you're totally right about Timothy Dalton.

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    1. I'm totally right about lots of things.

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    2. Yes. For example I am no longer able to look at a film poster without checking to see if the credits match the picture. They almost never do. This will certainly curse me for the rest of my life.

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  19. It's been beautiful. In honour of the Incredible Suit, I'm going to watch all the Bond films in order, all the time, for ever more.

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    Replies
    1. This is the best possible tribute you could pay. It will also make you sexually irresistible, so everyone's a winner.

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  20. Incredible Suit, it's been a pleasure

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  21. Oh for fuck's sake, I'm going to have to fiddle with my Google Reader settings now. This is a highly inconsiderate move, Mr Suit.

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    1. Apols for the selfishness. If you like I will come round and fiddle with your settings so you don't have to. (Not a euphemism) (Unless you want it to be)

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  22. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

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  23. damn i never really posted nuffing but i enjoyed what u did.

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  24. Fair enough, mate. You've served the online community in spectactular fashion and encouraged me to review the entire Bond francise (and other films) anew. I first read your blog and was very happy to find someone who also shared my unexplained distaste for "The Beef".
    Seriously, thanks for taking the time to share your creativity - this blog has been a great read over the past three years and will be missed.
    All the best in your future endeavours.
    Mark

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Mark. Please continue to enjoy my endeavours over at www.fuckthebeef.com.

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  25. I shure will miss The Suit, his precise Bond films analysis and his now famous cock jokes. Thanks for the agreable time spent -and you better interview Sir Sean Connery and George Lazenby, man !!!

    PS : the last "the end" picture of your article, I guess it's from the ending of Casablanca, isn't it ?

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    Replies
    1. Indeed it is. I chose it because Casablanca.

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    2. Suit, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

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    3. Because a Blanca ?

      Sorry...

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  26. Hey Mr Suit
    I am an office drone in Nottingham who has spent far too many hours reading your blog rather than doing any actual work.
    I shall miss your musings regarding film/life/Bond. Where am I to get my validation that my obsession with Bond and Ryan Gosling is normal behaviour?
    Good luck with the future projects.
    Thanks for the giggles.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks drone! Future Bond/Gosling love will almost certainly take place at The Shiznit. Now get back to work.

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  27. NOOO

    You could've at least waited until the Oscars, where Adele is singing Skyfall and all 6 actors are rumored to appear together for THE FIRST TIME EVER.

    In fact, you should've finagled an invite and done parts 3-6 of your actor interviews in one night!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. YEEES

      It turns out the six Bonds won't be at the Oscars because they're all coming round mine to watch it on a dodgy streaming site. Great days.

      Delete
  28. Nein, nein, nein, nein!

    I'm not German but I am upset.

    Thanks for all the content, it's been entertaining reading the site and laughing throughout my lunch break.

    Fare thee well Incredible Suit. Fare thee well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ja, ja, ja, ja. I'm not German either. We have so much in common, we should hook up.

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  29. Replies
    1. Well I do have a little more spare time now, so...

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  30. Does this mean you'll be doing some actual WORK at work now?

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    Replies
    1. I intend to work exactly as hard as the guy who's always playing his guitar on the firm's time.

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  31. All the best for your well deserved future success

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